Hi. I'm Joe. Not even Joseph. Just Joe. Middle Class, middle-aged, Joe. I'm ok with it. In fact, I've decided to make it my challenge to be practically average in every way, to a fault. I'm not kidding. I consider it quite a challenge to be JustJoe. I live in Denver - it's a pretty average kind of place. I have a remarkably average job doing some accounting, scheduling, etc. for a remarkably average salary. It's kind of a Zen thing, really. I've found a balance in maintaining my mediocrity to an almost artistic level. Nothing too fancy, though - we're not talking Michelangelo - just some average artist/accountant who finds peace in his vision of his reality. Want to know a secret? I'm perfectly happy this way. I have a good marriage, great kids - blame their mother - and my ex-wife (in keeping with average trends) for their brilliance, I'm sure. I've had my share of excitement. I served in the Army - enlisted. They sent me to the middle of the Desert in Utah to a horrible place called Dugway. Then I got to go to Germany for a while until this pesky war thing started up. Anyway - Gotta tell ya, I'm impressed you're still here. Insomnia? Oh yeah - I'm happy. No stress of corporate cubicleism, no long commutes in traffic at $3.10/gallon to do a job we all know could be just as easily done from home... Well, that should keep you from reading anything else I've written. Credit the format to Chuck Lorre. If you know Chuck Lorre, have him email me. I'd like a writing job. No, really.

My passion is ...

Quantum Physics, Philosophy, and using Stem Cells to cause cancer.

I know too much about ...

Ancient alien languages and hot dog ingredients.

My parents always told me ...

that I was lucky they'd lost my receipt, or they'd return me.

My childhood ambition ...

to build the world's biggest treehouse out of body parts. I'm almost there!

My favorite memory ...

Give me a minute.

Why I write ...

I don't have a choice. The voices take over, and somehow these things appear.

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

pre-depression cereal boxes/animal-insect hybrid mating rituals/the blood draining from my frontal lobe.

My first job ...

Not sure if it was a job, but it sure paid well. Didn't seem legal, though.

My best moment ...

I'll tell you as soon as the statute of limitations has expired.

My inspiration ...

To keep my shocking heterosexual and monagomous lifestyle a secret while running the largest Gay Evangelical Church in Utah.

Relationships & Family > Valentine's Day Reflections: Valentine's Day

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Valentine's Day

I've always had issues with Valentine's Day, for as long as I can remember. I'm not sure exactly why we celebrate this festival of everything that is decidedly not politically correct, or why people aren't up in arms about it. This is my stand, and I've even brought a soap box along, just in case. This evil must not stand.

I can remember when the trauma started. Let's go back to a simpler time, 1973. The Viet Name war was fading, we'd been to the moon and back, and Mrs. Toby's Kindergarten class was deep in the throes of shoe boxes, pink construction paper, and ca...

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