I am a 34 year old mother of 4. I have been a stay at home mom for the past ten years, also I have been on SSDI and SSI for those 9 years. I am Bipolar, have severe panic/anxiety/social anxiety disorder and when I cycle in my Bipolar, I have schizophrenic tendencies. Not to the point of hallucinations or anything, I just come up with unrealistic scenerios in my head and think about them over and over again until I have convinced myself that that is what is going to happen. I used to cycle at least once a month; that was about 9-10 months ago. I had an ah-ha moment, had to say goodbye, literally to my ex-husband, then I was able to move on. Once that happened, I have not cycled but maybe twice and they weren't bad ones. I was able to have full control over them, which normally wasn't the case.
I have always love to write. Even as a trouble teen, living in a group home. I wrote alot of poetry. I have, since I was about 12 years old, kept some kind of journal. Even if it was just a few lines on the back of my homework. I was always wanting to write, creatively.
When I was fifteen, there was an ad in the paper for writers who wanted to be published. It was for the Wisconsin Poets Society. They gave a PO Box # and you just had to write your work and send it in. So I wrote a poem about snow and snowflakes and then one about breaking up. I got a letter about 3-4 weeks later saying that my piece would be published but if I wanted a copy of the book I had to send them $55. I called the BBB and they never heard of the Wisconsin Poets Society. I called the public library and neither had they. I called some publishing company in Wisonsin and they never heard of them either. So I never sent in my money so I never received a book. But it was in 1990, so to investigate now even would do no good. But I was excited to have been published, well sort of.
My recent days I have been trying to write a book, or something like that. I am trying to tell a story about my life experiences and the lessons I learned from them with hopes that someone will read it and learn something from it. I want to be able to help at least one person. I wish I could influence just one persons life to the point that they have a life altering moment, for the better of course. I would like to get some of my writting out there for people to read and possibly appreciate. I put my whole self into my words and hope for something good to come out.
I
My passion is ...
being passionate
I know too much about ...
the actions or lack there of of other parents
My parents always told me ...
stand up for yourself
My childhood ambition ...
to be a cop
My favorite memory ...
spending one on one time with my grandma
Why I write ...
because I hope someone will take something positive away from my words
What I am reading/watching/listening to ...
Jackie Collins/movies/the neighborhood
My first job ...
a caddy at a country club
My best moment ...
when I gave birth to my first daughter
My inspiration ...
God
Set Me Free In a place where I did dwell I met a man I loved so well He took his love away from me And now he's willing to set me free I even know the reason why For she is much prettier than I I ran upstairs and lay on my bed Not a word to my mother was said My father came home late that night And searched for me left and right He ran upstairs and the door he broke And found me hanging by a rope He got a knife and cut me down And on my jeans this note was found Dig a grave And dig it deep Marble stone from head to feet And on my grave please place a dove To tell the world I died for love
More..Annie Kosterman
Member since: June 2009
Articles Written: 11