: About Me

I am a recent college grad who has had no lack of experience with a keyboard and much time on my hands. Professional experience, however, is a different story. Yet what better way to hone my talents?

My passion is ...

Rather, my passions are discombobulated and confused, but quite real!

I know too much about ...

anything that would make others squeamish.

My parents always told me ...

never to write anything you wouldn't want as a newspaper's headline - oops.

My childhood ambition ...

to be a great novelist, as well as an astronaut. Later, an opera diva - and a great novelist.

My favorite memory ...

first meeting my beloved at the airport.

Why I write ...

for pleasure

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

Independent People, by Haldor Laxness

My first job ...

at Arby's, during high school. I'll never forget the stench of fake liquid butter...

My best moment ...

would be any moment I could keep patient.

My inspiration ...

anyone who dares to show their eccentricities and flaunt them.

Creative Writing > Memoirs Testimonies: My thoughts about spam email

4 of 5

I have always liked spam mail. In fact, I once even wrote an entire one-act play made up entirely of spam mail subjects entitled "Vanilla Extracted". The names of the characters were those of the supposed senders. For kicks, here's a sample of my masterwork: GERI HARGROVE (silently, wistfully): My first million of impressions: A good man deserves a better life. ALONZO FROG (laughing hysterically, pointing to GERI and turning to GOTTFRIED): Get a key to her heart! GOTTFRIED ERASMUS (out of the blue): OLKSTOOT! Mind you, I hadn't any artistic pretensions when I wrote this piece. Nor did I se...

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