Articles written by Barry Parham

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About me - Barry Parham

Barry Parham is a freelance web application developer and writer of humor columns, essays and short stories. He is the author of "Why I Hate Straws," a collection of humor and satire (September 2009).

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Hate-Straws-offbeat-worldview/dp/1 439254575

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Creative Writing > Short Stories Short stories: Unusual encounters: 2 of 227
CLAY PIGEONS The last day of the month crawled by. It crawled like the afternoon sun crawled, a sun unseen but for its subtle siblings, an army of fleeting images, forming and fleeing along the tier of windshields in the cars parked in front of Taylor's small store. Bright, far too bright, these beacons winked on and off, ... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Shopping at the grocery store: 1 of 49
20% Off With Their Heads! Not long ago, I went on a bizarre safari with my parents, to one of those monstrous, membership-driven, continent-sized, discount shopping marts (I can't spell out the name of the store, because I can spell lawsuit). Although I didn't have a membership, my parents did, so I canceled my mail, got my ... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Coping with the holidays: 1 of 25
Big Carl's Eventual Holiday Here in my town of Creyer (pronounced "Cur"), there's lots to do this summer. And for me and my fellow citizens, that's welcome news indeed. We're just like you. We're all waist-deep in it, buffeted by a besieged economy. Proud Americans, not supported by (and not supporting) government b... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Family memories: 4 of 85
An Avuncular Afterword Living alone, I don't have much need for my guest bathroom. I rarely even enter the room. But last night, I did. I had to. I'm single. For single people to expect to survive on a planet where other human beings might actually visit your house, we have to abide by some standards and some rules. We must... More..
Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Relationships: 1 of 20
The Girl For Me I just learned that Barbie turned 50 this year. That settles it. I'm asking her out. She's perfect. For all you perennial single guys out there, she's perfect. She's petite and passive. She's always a sharp dresser and she's aged amazingly well. She's sexually dysfunctional, and her vocal cords are controll... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Dreams: 1 of 20
A Day in the Life She still couldn't shake the previous night's dream. As a rule, she didn't dream in color, but last night, something (too much Chinese food, maybe, too close to bedtime) had transported her to a vibrant, unfamiliar world, a hauntingly alluring place where people were prized for what they are, not what ... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Family: 9 of 169
On Being Avuncular Friday night, for the first time in my life, both my nieces spent the night at my house. I was thrilled, and it went surprisingly well. If you're not an Uncle, I can only tell you that it was pleasant beyond understanding. I recommend everybody get themselves set up as an Uncle, though there might be som... More..
Creative Writing > Short Stories Short stories: Adventures in life: 3 of 50
William Dear Cousin, I wanted to fire off a few words to you, now that I've set up shop here above the South Carolina state line in North Carolina. Believe it or not, things are not so much different here, north of Rock Hill, north of Charleston, south of New York. I rented a room, first-off, in what might be called a boa... More..
Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Work: 2 of 31
Calming the Waters INTEROFFICE MEMO Here at the People's Independent Telephone Syndicate (the PITS), it has come to our attention that the current economic downturn has fueled a blaze of nervous rumors. These signs of anxiety are dispositively affecting our efforting of recurring filings, non-pre-existing ratings, ongoing ... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Birthdays: 1 of 15
Actuarial Family Theater Risk management, food chains, neurotic rabbits, and evil sea aliens I'm a single guy. But I do have married friends. And some of those friends have children. And this week, I waded across that border, into a birthday party for the daughter of a couple I know. A lovely couple they are, with two lovel... More..