: About Me

...makes me gag like...

birthday cake and fancy bullshit, toothpicks and popsicle sticks, dirty feet, and cafeteria trays, eating alone and gluttony, faith in lies and deception, dismantaling intuition with reason and misguided rationale, ego hunger and pussy vultures, gossip and assumption, sweet talk and hidden agendas, sex for triumph and sex for lonliness, making i love you a lie, the inability to change and my total volcano of confusion over you, knots and scooties, condoms and stickiness, your smell on my pillow and my tears, light eyes and illusion, my name on your tounge, wet kisses and fingers through my hair, hoping for a miracle, black tumors and chemo, my alternate perception and their words against mine, speechless shock and open mouths with no sound coming out, black sox sex and whiskers on the sink, age and its distinction, not kissing you like i really wanted to while feeling guilty for saying everything that felt right, not wearing nighties in cheap hotel rooms, watching Kurt and Courtney alone, missing a forehead kiss and wishing i didn't give a damn, pod people and leftovers, being vulnerable and losing what i don't have, over compensation and mute wallpaper, holding on to the idea of some fantasy i created when i was daydreaming in your arms, missing the details and looking past the present, love letters and sugar poetry, old notes and valentines day, looking less and less like myself and looking pretty through tears, trying to find meaning and realizing it never meant anything, superiority and your fake authority, never washing the dirt and feathers from your hair while washing your dirt from me, waiting for a letter that will never come, crossed fingers and faith, noisy forks and knowing i asked for it, sad eyes and shell people, a beginning with an end and no middle, greasy fingers and cheap heels, fake smiles and whisperers, infidelity and sushing, not knowing and appearing dismantled, small talk and blatant disregard, avoidance and pretention, waking up and realizing it wasn't a dream or waking up and realizing it was, thinking you can wish it away and your sorry apologies, never reading me and forgetting before having the chance to remember.

So for now....

Both Sides by Joni-

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons ev'rywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on ev'ryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev'ry fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living ev'ry day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Confused by love

192 of 254

cotton drywall, i love your sweat sock stripes There they were, those crumbling walls and your shocking smile, painted episodes of artillery and lace, and those black panties you liked so much overtaken by time and your brutality. You and your machine gun stand, you've always been so orange in our destruction, surprisingly tactile, my bedroom could barely withstand you. You and your champion way, you were always so cautious in your endeavor of me. You would take large quantities at a time and mull over them slowly and carefully, molding each morsel into something you could safely stomach. ...

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