: About Me

I am a writer of unique and interesting articles.  I once wrote rather conventional articles on here, but soon came to the realization that my style was not conventional enough.  Admittedly, I have always written on Helium with a somewhat glib tone and an aversion to overediting these particular articles. 

Henceforth, I have resolved to be true to the absurdity that dwells within me.  There are plenty of people taking thing too seriously around here.  I'm here to look at things from a more interesting point of view.

My passion is ...

subverting the dominant paradigm.

I know too much about ...

being conventional.

My childhood ambition ...

seemed to vary day by day.

My inspiration ...

the secret surrealism of the everyday world.

Entertainment > Celebrity Commentary What should Britney Spears do to get back on track?

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Britney Spears has thankfully gone as far as one can go on the conventional pop star circuit.  She has crashed, burned, made a lukewarm comeback, freaked out again, disappeared and is now thoroughly entrenched in the weird, ill-conceived random appearances phase of the cycle of celebrity.  It is time for her to break the chain and do something genuinely interesting for once in her life. It is time for Spears to focus her strange energies into strange avenues; to not so much get "back on track" but rather to get on a new track.  It is time for her to become interesting a...

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