Articles written by Gary Cain

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About me - Gary Cain

After a 25 year career as a research chemist in pharmaceutical companies I am now a full-time writer. My favorite writing areas are humor, satire, and fake news articles, plus a serious topic now and then.

See a summary of my publications at http://garyacain.com.

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Politics, News & Issues > Baseball Should baseball get rid of the designated hitter rule?: 1 of 25
To bat, or not to bat, that is the question.According to Major League Baseball's current rulebook, all interleague games played in National League (NL) parks follow the NL's no-designated-hitter (DH) rule, meaning both teams' pitchers have to bat. The converse is true in American League (AL) parks, wherein the DH is allowed t... More..
Creative Writing > Memoirs Testimonies: I was fired from my job and have not landed on my feet: 2 of 29
My life wasn't supposed to turn out this way. While growing up in a mid-sized town in the south during the 60s and 70s, we were told to study hard and get a good education, then get a good job, make money, and be happy and successful, the Great American Dream, most people's Plan A. Well, I did all that, and 25 years into my c... More..
Sports & Recreation > Martial Arts Reasons to pick up martial arts: 3 of 26
When he walked up behind her between high school classes, he merely intended to surprise his girlfriend by putting his arm around her neck in order to give her a hug. Instead, the surprise was his when she, instinctively reacting after a decade of martial arts training, grabbed his arm and flipped him over her shoulder onto t... More..
Health & Fitness > Sexual Health Men, are you ejaculating too fast?: 1 of 8
Been there, done that. Admit it, men. Premature ejaculation (PE). It's happened to nearly all of us. Only most of us are too embarrassed or ashamed to talk about it. We don't, however, have to take it lying down. Men's sexuality experts, medical professionals, and the pharmaceutical industry are out there, well aware of this ... More..
Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Work: 4 of 31
One of the medical profession's most closely guarded secrets is that job layoffs cause leprosy.Not literally, of course. But figuratively, you betcha. On Halloween 2007 my previous employer, a pharmaceutical company, announced that my three-man group was being laid off. Because of the time required for Human Resources to get ... More..
Jobs & Careers > Employers Job outsourcing: Problem or solution: 3 of 16
It used to be that only blue-collar jobs were outsourced overseas, since the "unskilled" labor required for these jobs was readily found in those lower cost countries. In recent years, however, "skilled" positions and white-collar jobs are also being eliminated in the United States and sent overseas.The major impetus which ha... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Funny stories from the doctor's office: 10 of 46
"Go for a cardiac stress test," my family doctor told me. Yikes! I already had plenty of stress in my life, thank you very much. I certainly didn't feel the need to go deliberately looking for additional stress. Then I remembered that my wife's former boss had a heart attack while driving home from his cardiac stress test. Oo... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Self improvement: 5 of 20
How long until medical science figures out how to replace all, and I mean all, of our defective body parts? I'm thinking maybe they'll come up with a medical superstore stocked with off-the-shelf, do-it-yourself type body replacement parts, just like going to an auto parts store. I hope it happens soon, because I'm pretty ann... More..
Sports & Recreation > Baseball (Other) The evil empire of baseball: The Yankees: 4 of 15
Those bleeping Yankees have done it again! Forked over unspeakable sums of money to sign more of the best players on the planet. Having missed the playoffs in 2008 for the first time in 14 years, the New York Yankees over the winter went on a spending rampage and shelled out the equivalent economic output of several small cou... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Southern English: 4 of 14
Upon meeting somebody new in the region where I live, after I've said about three words, the other person will generally burst into a huge grin and say, "Not from around here, are you?" Even though I've lived in Wilmington, Delaware for 21 years, and in the Midwest for the 6 years before that, I'm still immediately pegged as ... More..