Articles written by Caroline Garlick

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About me - Caroline Garlick

*Update at 9th July 2010* - Until recently I have submitted Helium articles under the pen name of Gillian Garner. For personal reasons I have now reverted to my real name; apologies for any confusion!*

It's difficult to pinpoint what I write about, as I tend

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Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Sisters: 4 of 108

The first was my carer, being older by ten The next was my ally, confidante and friend The third was my rival, since I took her place As baby of the family, born last in the race. Father's eyes twinkled beneath fast-receding hair Four daughters a handful, but his rule always fair Mother worked hard to keep us safe, clothed a...
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Old and new: 2 of 35

A fresh new day, a bright new dawn I awake from sleep, I stretch, I yawn The sun streams in, I look to my right Bed still empty, as it was last night You're in the lounge, you slept on the couch Not my request, but you just passed out In the old days you were by my side But now it seems the turning tide Has pushed you away, ...
Creative Writing > Memoirs Memoirs: Saying good-bye: 4 of 68

It's probably too late to say goodbye, six years on. I'm not even sure that there's any point in doing it. Much as I would love to believe he's able to hear me, and understand that I'm sorry, I'm just too cynical and world-weary to allow myself any comfort from it. Anyway, why should I require comfort? He's been dead six yea...
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Hating other people: 3 of 48

I won't go shopping on Saturdays I hate the people who do You walk too slowly in your incessant crowds And get in my way through and through I won't go to the cinema or theatre I hate the people who do You laugh when it's not funny, talk through the show Spoiling my enjoyment too I won't go to bars or restaurants I hate the ...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Losing weight: 5 of 55

"You're not allowed that." Your helpful, concerned husband just happens to enter the kitchen at the exact moment your grasping fingers are reaching for the last of that big bar of chocolate. You know, the one you bought with the intention of treating yourself to one square of per day as a reward for all your hard work? It wa...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Cell phones: 5 of 54

I seem to have lost contact with a great number of my friends. I think I'm an approachable person. I'm able to have fun, converse, socialise. I can get along with anyone. My problem seems to be that I grasp, understand and use the English language. You see, it's not a necessary ability anymore. In fact, it's scorned. Due to ...
Pets & Animals > Cat Care & Health Indoor or outdoor: How to choose the best life for your cat: 3 of 24

This is one of those issues which depends entirely on the cat, the owner and the circumstances, so of course I can ony speak from personal experience, but I keep two male cats indoors, and I really don't think they could be happier. I'd never known anyone to keep an indoor cat, and when I adopted my first cat from a rescue c...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Easter morning: 1 of 8

Unlike Christmas, when my sisters and I awoke tingling and breathless and wondering if Santa had been, no such tradition of secrecy or magic existed around the arrival of our Easter eggs. Our parents did not have a special hiding place for the brightly-coloured boxes of sweet delights that awaited us, nor was any pretence ke...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Housework: 6 of 42

As a fresh-faced nineteen-year old, I moved out of my parent's home into a rented bedsit with my boyfriend. It was so exciting. Finally, being allowed to do my own shopping. At last, able to stay out late without the disapproving tut from my mother the next morning as I nursed a hangover. And best of all, being a proper grow...
Religion & Spirituality > Atheism & Agnosticism Testimonies: Why I am an atheist: 4 of 27

I've known from a very young age that I am atheist. My primary school was a standard white, middle-class suburban one; whilst it did not exclude anyone on the grounds of race or religion, the fact was that there just weren't any non-white, non-middle-class kids in the area. As such, as I'm sure was and still is the case in m...