Articles written by Gillian Garner

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About me - Gillian Garner

I grew up in the spa town of Buxton, in Derbyshire, but now live in Scotland with my partner and two cats, who dictate an awful lot of what I write about (although not literally, of course!). I work in a good old Monday to Friday, nine-to-five office job,

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Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Cell phones: 1 of 55
I seem to have lost contact with a great number of my friends. I think I'm an approachable person. I'm able to have fun, converse, socialise. I can get along with anyone. My problem seems to be that I grasp, understand and use the English language. You see, it's not a necessary ability anymore. In fact, it's scorned. Due to ... More..
Creative Writing > Memoirs Memoirs: Pets: 1 of 38
Oscar was already into middle-age by the time I was born. My parents acquired him from, of all places, a Tupperware party in 1978. At that time, they were a young family with two daughters, the eldest almost four, and the youngest about twenty months. Perhaps Fate took pity on my father in delivering him a male canine compan... More..
Health & Fitness > Diet Programs Experiences with the Weight Watchers diet programs: 2 of 24
Although I knew I was overweight, I didn't really consider it a problem. Sure, I was frustrated when I went clothes shopping, and often felt lethargic and breathless, but I was sure I didn't look that bad. I never kept a track of my weight, but if I'd had to guess, I would have thought I weighed maybe twelve or thirteen ston... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Losing weight: 5 of 56
"You're not allowed that." Your helpful, concerned husband just happens to enter the kitchen at the exact moment your grasping fingers are reaching for the last of that big bar of chocolate. You know, the one you bought with the intention of treating yourself to one square of per day as a reward for all your hard work? It wa... More..
Personal Finance > Credit Cards Should credit card companies be targeting college students?: 4 of 40
Credit card companies should not be targeting college students, or indeed anyone, until they are willing to work towards a complete overhaul of the way people are educated about finances. In the current climate, it has become glaringly apparent that banks and credit card companies, however they try to disguise it, use unethi... More..
Creative Writing > Memoirs Memoirs: Saying good-bye: 8 of 70
It's probably too late to say goodbye, six years on. I'm not even sure that there's any point in doing it. Much as I would love to believe he's able to hear me, and understand that I'm sorry, I'm just too cynical and world-weary to allow myself any comfort from it. Anyway, why should I require comfort? He's been dead six yea... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Housework: 5 of 41
As a fresh-faced nineteen-year old, I moved out of my parent's home into a rented bedsit with my boyfriend. It was so exciting. Finally, being allowed to do my own shopping. At last, able to stay out late without the disapproving tut from my mother the next morning as I nursed a hangover. And best of all, being a proper grow... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Dreaming of you: 8 of 62
Every now and then You appear again Your visits make no logical sense To a wakened mind But under the covers In a restless sleep Where all my body's senses uncontrollably merge You appear again Sometimes a face, sometimes a voice Sometimes both or neither Your presence is felt Hot, urgent Like it's supposed to mean something... More..
Arts & Humanities > English Language The difference between spoken and written English: 1 of 7
Apparently, I'm an English language bully. Firstly, let me say that in terms of written English, I would agree, and I'm not ashamed of it either. Despite being of the generation that invented text-speak, I can no longer bear to communicate with friends and family by this method, because I find myself nagging at them to write... More..
Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: Star Trek (2009): 6 of 28
I have only recently been introduced to Star Trek, having largely ignored it for my whole life, then later, scoffing at my partner for enjoying it. I would begrudgingly sit in the same room while he watched entire seasons of Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager, and I would mock it, as I'm sure many people who've nev... More..