: About Me

Thank you for stumbling mind-first into my e-proliferation arena. Reveling in the vastness of the internet's reach is an exciting adventure, and it has reignited my compulsion to create.

Spanning the decades, my self-induced writing haze started during my late teens and hasn't stopped since. My deeply rooted passion to write has guided me into a five-year journalistic journey as a weekly newspaper editor and columnist, followed by 20 years of creating TV and radio commercials, comedy scripts and occasional press releases.

A strong fascination with real estate led me to into operating as a licensed Pennsylvania real estate agent from 2004 to 2007. Now, it's fun and rewarding to write about this exciting topic.

Shortly after advancing beyond the world of real estate, I decided to become the next Bombeck. As of yet I haven't quite figured out how to alert the rest of humanity to this bombastically discombobulated fact. Now that I've discovered Helium.com, hope springs eternal.

One of my favorite humorous autobiographical articles is entitled "When in Bangkok do as the Bangkokkers do," and that's the first thing I have decided to share with the world via the internet. It is one of the rare bits of inspired humor to ever emerge from a U.S. Army veteran stationed in southeast Asia during the Vietnam era.

Stashed in files around my house I have untold treasures of humor and wit: five unpublished novels, a screenplay, piles of humorous pieces, various non-fiction works, and a hefty supply of short stories.

I am the proud mother of six fine children, and wrote a unique manuscript with input and art from my two youngest between 1999 and 2007. A chapter from this novel is available on Helium, titled, "The Day Tina Chipped Away At Their Friendship." My kids and I hope you enjoy reading it.

My other lifelong hobby is music. At age 10 I started playing the violin, and graduated to the cello at age 12. My teenage years were filled with junior philharmonic performances, and sitting in as the cellist for a local dinner theater orchestra.

As an adult, I've written and performed about 100 songs as a bassist since the 1980s, and have taught numerous children, including my own, how to play various musical instruments and read music.

Another activity I've pursued all of my life is fishing, and I've helped lots of kids to learn  how to reel in perch and bass.                 

I am "Mommy" to a precious little pug named Millie, and a big black lovable mutt named Maxine.

I am honored by your presence and appreciate the fact that you are loaning me your sense of sight long enough to absorb the interesting information you will indulgently ingest while immersing yourself in my imaginative imagery.

Xtine

My passion is ...

My primary passion is weaving words into brightly-colored patterns upon infinite tapestries of uniqueness never before accomplished.

I know too much about ...

I know too much about too much.

My parents always told me ...

My Mom taught me tenacity. My Dad taught me that when you don't know what to do, don't make a move. The answer will present itself.

My childhood ambition ...

When I was a teenager, my ultimate ambition was to be a writer for National Lampoon.

My favorite memory ...

One of my favorite memories is when I caught a fish so powerful and humongous that it navigated our pontoon boat for us for about 15 minutes. Then the line snapped.

Why I write ...

I write because it is a creative compulsion that burns within me hotter than the sun's intense infernal rays as they scorch endless desert sands.

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

I am listening to my heart because it has led me here.

My first job ...

My first paid job was to play cello in a small orchestra for a dinner theater at age 15.

My best moment ...

My best moment occurs each day when I realize how lucky I am to be blessed with such a wonderful life, complete with loving husband and wonderful children. Sound cliche? Good. Cliches do have their place in this world.

My inspiration ...

The Lord has blessed me with the gift of writing. I am waiting for Him to lead the right person to my words.

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Politics

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"Singing A Different Political Tune About Health Care" Our country's health care situation is like "Bad Medicine." If legislators dared to "Walk A Mile In My Shoes," they might have different "Feelings" about the pending controversial health care law. They might "Jump" and suffer a "Heart Attack" when they scrutinize the "Bill" showing how much it'll cost "In The Year 2525." If I said "Doctor Doctor," would you "See Me Feel Me" before you "Bend Me Shape Me," he might instruct me to "Hit The Road Jack" when he learns I don't have health insurance. Before, when I was "Down And Out," sufferin...

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