Articles written by Virgil Teague

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About me - Virgil Teague

I'm a voice actor for radio and television commercials, industrial videos and the like, and I'm also a long-time copy and script writer. What I write here, however, comes from a different place. Here I write to the beat of my own metronome. If a little wry

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Sciences > Geology & Geophysics Where oil comes from: 1 of 11

THE NODDING DONKEY One of my first impressions when relocating to the north Texas plains was the proliferation of strange mechanical contrivances that dot the landscape. It's impossible to drive more than a mile or two without seeing several of these gizmos, heads going slowly up and down, and it takes no imagination to real...
Sciences > Sciences (Other) Thoughts on Mars: Past goals and future exploration: 1 of 11

WE ARE THE MARTIANS Near the top of the list of things we older adults might envy the youth of today - apart from their ability to flit through the world of computers and iPods and cell phones without fear or trembling - is simply that they will live long enough to learn some of the answers to mysteries which have long intri...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Sailor stories: 1 of 8

Naval officers often work under pressure, performing specialized and often dangerous tasks within a highly-structured bureaucracy laden with custom and tradition. Measurement of their skills and suitability for promotion derives in large part from an all-important Fitness Report, a regular assessment by peers and senior offi...
General The world's funniest joke: 12 of 60

SEEING GHOSTS I take issue with the title of this category. Setting aside my sense that there cannot be a "world's funniest joke," given that societal norms vary around the globe and what is hilarious in Secaucus might be a dud in Instanbul or the wry British humor might not elicit much response in a village in Gabon, I'll s...
Jobs & Careers > Occupations (Other) Employment: Fun jobs: 3 of 12

THE BEST JOB EVER No doubt about it: the best job I ever had was as engineer on the miniature railroad at our local Zoo. Most of the ride operators were high schoolers, happy to wear a bright yellow tee shirt with the Zoo logo on it, to run the little boats or the rocket ride or the ferris wheel. Not me. As soon as I knew I ...
Creative Writing > Memoirs Testimonies: My golden retriever: 1 of 4

MY GOLDEN DOG Not long after I'd purchased my little country home, I busied myself with typical new-owner projects: rehabilitating the run-down garage, repainting the exterior to hide the hideous teal blue the previous inhabitants had chosen, uprooting problematic plants and replacing them with better choices and generally b...
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Haiku: 56 of 174

HAIKU How pure, how simple; The raindrops falling cool Upon my fevered face.
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Food: 45 of 130

LOADING IN AND LOADING OUT You know how it is: after a couple of hours at the store, including the interminable check-out process, you get home with a trunk full of groceries: boxes and cans, cartons, bottles and jugs. You schlep it all into the kitchen and load up the counter, preparing to sorting it all out for stashing in...
Food & Drink > Food & Drink (Other) Assessing the Americans' eating habits: 8 of 22

A BIG FAT SOLUTION You can hardly avoid the recent media attention given to the obesity issue here in the United States. Our "fat cat" lifestyles, enjoyed for so many years, are beginning to hang around our waists and our butts in the same way dog owners and their pets somehow begin to resemble one another: you live like thi...
Hobbies & Games > Crafts (Other) Crafts from nature and natural materials: 3 of 8

GILDING THE LILY There is something in the makeup of certain humans that demands release: a creative spark that may burst into the creation of a new piano concerto, the frenzied paint applications of a Jackson Pollock, the interactive elements of a Calder mobile, the drive to declaim Shakespeare from the stage, carve a cigar...