: About Me

Hi. I'm Jim.

I'm a lawyer, having been a dues paying member of the California Bar since I was 24.

But I don't do that anymore. Law talking wears a brother out.

And I'm a professor, teaching at a small college in south Florida since the top of 2004 after earning a 4.0 in picking up my second graduate degree, this one a Masters in US History. I'm good at the gig. If, in a peculiar twist, the fate of humanity were to rest on one man to deliver a lecture on the categorical imperative or involuntary manslaughter, I'd be the guy you wanted at the podium.

But my school recently shut my department down, leaving me to scramble for courses. I believe next quarter I'm teaching The Poetry of the Oppressed.

I'm a playwright. In 2006, a play I co-authored, Spoon Millionaires, was produced in Ohio. I've been speaking, performing, or writing constantly since I was 14; this seemed to be my best shot at fortune, glory, and having my peculiar combination of whimsy and obstinance recognized by the world at large.

And it's funny. Honest. If you read it, you'd like it. Everyone does. And believe me, having written plenty of things that most people barely understand, I know when it is people enjoy something I've written.

But despite my most diligent efforts, one production seems like the limit for Spoons.

I won a bunch of money on a game show; started a sketch comedy troupe; DJ'd for a local radio station; was a stage actor, a National Endowment for the Humanities Scholar, and a nationally awarded competitive speaker.

My resume is longer than it should be given my lack of income. My decision making skills occasionally come into question.

I like San Francisco sports teams. I like food I do not eat. In ways good and bad, I am the Charlie Browningest brother you ever met. I aspire to be an agoraphobic.

I dig me. A lot.

I'm a bit of a mixed bag, all told. I mean, if you're expecting Billy Dee Williams, you're probably in the wrong place. But I do irrationally enjoy barking out the word "Ballin'!" for no apparent reason.

I occasionally blog. I think I'm good at it. If you'd like to hire me for a book or a television series or a children's party, or a donkey show, I'm likely to accept. I'm less discerning than one might think.

I am unnaturally attracted to the letter L. I like conjunctive adverbs. I have a female type friend person who, possibly due to a clerical error, seems to enjoy spending time with me.

I get me, Chico. Whether you do or not.

I like to talk about the American Railway Union led Pullman strike from the end of the 19th century; I like to talk about the 14th Amendment being the most significant piece of legislation in the history of the Western Hemisphere; I like to talk about the many variants of the suplex.

I have any number of aliases:

Toothless Julie, the Recently Debt-free.

Bo, the World's Most Gorgeous Retard

Kinda Slutty Louise, Who Cannot Play the Banjo.

Ernie Who Hoards Mints for the Winter

Tom the Itinerant Sheet Cake Thief,

Margie, who had 2 Back Alley Abortions even after Roe v. Wade.

Toby the Bearded, Who Eats His Own Beard

Toothache Williams, the Lightly beaten.

But you can call me Jim. Or Miss Jackson, if you're nasty.

There are people who, for whatever mildly disturbing reason, find me entertaining and/or sexy. I worry about these people.

Thanks for popping in. You've taken the first step to real enlightenment. Consider subscribing to my newsletter and indulging in my decadent homemade foodstuffs. David Blaine's magic is real and I believe in him. You can also find me at the following sites:

http://theblogofrevelation.blog.sponscore.com/

www.spoonmillionaires.com

www.myspace.com/spoonmillionaires

www.whatifwrestling.blogspot.com

Politics, News & Issues > Party Politics & Ideology Why the US presidential election matters to the average American

14 of 34

It felt good to vote for Obama Tuesday. My absentee ballot never arrived (which required some explanation at the elementary school where I voted at 7:30 in the AM- also requiring explanation was why they had me listed at two different polling places in their records, meaning my days of voting multiple times for Democrats have apparently ended) so, for the first time since 2000, I actually went to the polls. We neither had punch cards nor electronic ballot; I actually drew a line from Obama's name to the office of President of the United States. And it felt good. This embarrasses me. It emb...

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