Articles written by Annie Eitman

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About me - Annie Eitman

I'm a freelance writer in the process of becoming the next Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry. In times like these, this country needs some serious comic-relief and I'm gonna be it. I've written humor columns for several local papers and am currently looking for

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Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Grandparents: 2 of 11

My dear, departed, diabetic Nana used to bake for us grandkids. A lot. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? The first dozen times or so it was. After that - no. No. NO. Every day. Every damn day. It was like the movie Groundhog Day only with Bundt cakes. We'd come home from school, the witching hour for kiddie appetites, and she'd ...
Travel > Mexico Destinations Guide to seasonal weather in Cancun, Mexico: 3 of 13

The best part about Cancun is that any time of year is a breeze. If you're thinking of going offseason to Cancun, the weather can be a smidge daunting but not excessively so. Perched at the tip of the Yucatan peninsula, its weather is moderated by the warm winds and water of the Gulf of Mexico and the Caribbean. Rain and win...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Cat behavior: 30 of 121

When I was two years old I was given a tiny, grey, tabby kitten I named Princess. My parents tried to convince me to name him something a bit more appropriate, but I insisted. Why was gender such a big deal? I was certainly old enough to know a "Princess" when I saw one. At first an adorable kitten, Princess quickly grew to ...
Computers & Technology > Phone Technologies & Issues Should hands-free devices be mandatory for drivers?: 7 of 27

Please don't read this while driving! On July 1st of this year, California welcomed a new law regarding the use of cell phones while driving. Unless it's an emergency, it is now illegal to operate a vehicle and a cell phone unless you are using a hands-free device. It will still be legal, however, to drive and text. I rode w...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Dealing with squirrels: 11 of 33

It was a crisp fall morning in the Bronx, a bit cold but still nice enough to have the windows open before we left for school. I was living off campus in a three-story brownstone, starting my first year at Fordham University. My roommates had already headed out and I was about to sit down to a quick breakfast. I went back to...
Creative Writing > Memoirs Memoirs: Best horseback riding experiences: 19 of 43

We were playing a polo tournament at the Los Angeles Equestrian Center. It was arena polo, similar to hockey in that it's a physical team game played off the walls, and similar to rodeo in that it's rough, fast fun in a dirt arena. This is by far my favorite sport, and my favorite horsey pastime. While grass polo has been we...
Sports & Recreation > Baseball (Other) Scandals surrounding players inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame: 3 of 4

Celebrity invites attention. Attention invites jealousy, rumor and innuendo. Add gossip, hearsay, intrigue, and scandal, and you nearly have enough to field a baseball team. Cooperstown has done an amazing job of keeping scandals from infiltrating the Hall. Until now. Baseball is full of characters. The same personality trai...
Relationships & Family > The Single Life The challenges of dating as a single parent: 15 of 19

Single parents cut right to the chase - "I have children. Should you survive this relationship, the best you can hope for is 2nd place in my heart. If you agree to these terms, sign here. If not, don't let the doorknob hit you on the way out." We find amazing ways to be efficient in dating. While most singles lure their date...
Personal Finance > Banking Basics Suggestions to improve ATM banking: 4 of 5

I went to the bank the other day. More specifically, the bank's ATM. I put my debit card in the slot and away we went on a mystical adventure of uber-pleasant verbosity- "Welcome to the Bank of Overly Friendly Technology. Would you like English or Spanish?" "Great! Please enter your code." "Hey, thanks so much for entering y...
Politics, News & Issues > Baseball News & Opinion If I ran the Los Angeles Dodgers: 5 of 6

I am the direct result of the Dodgers leaving Brooklyn. My father, grief-stricken that Walter O'Malley had whisked his beloved Bums' away, decided that his life was more or less over, so he hung up his mitt, got married, and had children. And here I am, ready to tell Mr. McCourt what's what. The Dodger franchise has tremendo...