Articles written by Jim Crawford

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About me - Jim Crawford

I live in the Lakes Region of NH, in my opinion the best possible place to live.

I'm a retired Civil Engineer. I drive a school bus part-time, driving high school sports teams to their away games. My favorites are the girls basketball and field hockey teams.

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Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Marriage: 1 of 39
WHY NOT INTERVIEW A POTENTIAL SPOUSE?I suggest we reevaluate the way we choose our mate.Why not do what we do all the time in the business world and interview candidates? To get this idea rolling, here are suggested questions and the answers given by ideal candidates:THE IDEAL WIFE CANDIDATE: First, why do you want this job? ... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Work: 7 of 202
WHY I WAS LATEThe Associated Press recently reported that people late for school or work because of New York City subway delays can get notes from the transit agency to give to their teachers or bosses. NYC Transit has been mailing 34,000 such notes a year. Excuses for being late or for other transgressions seem to be prolife... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Travel: 3 of 84
I hate flying. Maybe it's because I don't like heights. I don't even like being this tall, and I'm only six feet. In any case, until a few weeks ago, I hadn't flown in 10 years. I had had some bad times in the air, including a terrifying instance of "clear air turbulence." That's when the sun is shining brightly outside the p... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: School: 2 of 34
THE VIEW FROM THE FRONT OF THE SCHOOL BUS:I drive a school bus part-time. Over the past five years I've driven local sports teams and other school groups on hundreds of trips. One of the cool features of the job is that I get to see and hear the sometimes cute, sometimes clever things my passengers say and do:- Driving a Belm... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Things I think about while waiting in line: 5 of 63
While standing in line, I usually think about words and how they affect us. For example, I've always felt that had they named it "fission power" instead of "nuclear power," there'd be much more support for that form of energy. Naming it "nuclear power" and linking it to the most terrifying weapon of mass destruction in the hi... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Baseball: 1 of 12
ANOTHER MANNY MOMENTAs this is written, ex-Red Sox player Manny Ramirez of "Manny Being Manny" fame is a free agent, being hotly pursued by a number of teams. Most couldn't care less about his screwball antics on and off the field (the incidents mentioned below did indeed happen), or how he might fit in with the rest of their... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: The mail: 2 of 15
THE MAIL THAT WENT UNDELIVEREDAn odd news item caught my attention a while back. Seems that after a mail carrier died suddenly, US Postal Service inspectors found the carrier had been hoarding undelivered mail in his apartment for many years. It took four or five truckloads to remove it all. Curious about what was included in... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Health and safety: 1 of 7
BEWARE OF THESE SYNDROMESA bizarre news item came to my attention the other day. A woman in Washington State who always spoke English is afflicted with a rare but real condition called Foreign Accent Syndrome that now makes her sound European. According to the article, the accent appeared following a chiropractic adjustment o... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Dogs: 8 of 54
DUKE'S DIARY Hi there. My name is Duke. I don't know what I'm the Duke of, but I do know that I'm a four-year-old Labrador Retriever. To be more precise, a "Yellow Lab", for you dog aficionados. I live with my master, his wife Jan, and a small black cat named Sable. You didn't know dogs could write? Well, I've noticed that t... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Bad drivers: 8 of 37
WHEN BLACK BOXES IN CARS START TO RECORD VOICESMaybe I was the last one to get this news, but I just learned that some 25 million autos now have black-box data recorders in them. They record such things as speed, seat belt use and braking status. I suppose it's only a matter of time before they'll be recording voices, just li... More..