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About me - Author Name Withheld 182

I was born in a cold, snowy wilderness, far from any modern...okay not really. I WAS born in Glasgow, Scotland however, which is about as close to a cold, snowy wilderness as I will ever get. My family moved to California when I was seven and here I am, a

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Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Humorous: 26 of 440

Ode to a Sandwich Guy Oh sandwich guy, thou art so fair, With baseball cap on yonder hair. I saw you in the shop last night, Alas, it was a meeting slight. Upon my cellphone I did chat, While you behind the counter sat And made my sandwich, ham on wheat. While piling greens upon my meat You watched me chastise my dear friend...
Relationships & Family > First Dates A gal's guide to planning a first date: 1 of 12

You have taken the plunge. Regardless of social norms, traditional relationships, and modern stereotypes, you, woman, have done the most courageous and nerve-wracking thing any modern-day woman can do. You have asked a man out on a date. And in this modern day, fast paced world of work, business, and on-line dating who could...
Style & Beauty > Hair Care Hair product reviews: Tresemme: 2 of 8

Tresemme, Tresemme, ooh la la. So the motto goes for Tresemme hair care products, so called salon quality products for affordable prices. I hate my hair. I know it can hear me say that, but I'm done denying it. I have very frizzy, curly hair. It's the kind of hair that your grandmother always tells you that a lot of women wo...
Personal Finance > Smart Spending How to plan your grocery list to avoid impulse purchases: 34 of 76

We have all fallen prey to the lurking monster that is impulse buying. No matter how seriously you tell yourself, "This week I WILL stick to my list," somehow the extra box of cookies, two bottles of soda, and bags of potato chips you will never eat end up in your shopping cart anyway. The most tried and true mechanism for a...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Animals: 38 of 82

Grow Some Wings Once upon a time there was a Poor Little Caterpillar who lived in a big oak tree. He was small and black and hairy, and all the other bugs that lived in his tree made fun of him all of the time. "You're small," jeered the Bumblebee. "You're black," laughed the Luminescent June-bug. "You're hairy," guffawed th...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Fairy tales: 34 of 62

The Singing Chicken Once upon a time there was a Fair and Clever Princess. She was admired throughout the kingdom for her beauty and brains, and many people from far and wide came to ask for her advice about some very tricky and difficult things. In a completely different far away kingdom lived a Handsome and Talented Prince...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Things you should never do in an elevator: 15 of 27

It never actually occurred to me that what I was doing was wrong. In all honesty, someone should give you a guide book on how to act in public places at birth, because i cannot possibly imagine how people manage without. All these things we learn from our mothers, like don't talk with your mouth full and elbows off the table...
Relationships & Family > Love & Relationships A gal's guide to planning a great date: 6 of 8

It is every woman's worst nightmare and every man's dream come true. It happens but rarely, but on the strange and unlikely aligning of the stars, we ladies must step up to the plate and take the first swing at destiny. Though it may seem like a cosmic improbability, something too modern, too independent, many women today ar...
Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: The Happening (2008): 25 of 28

There comes a time in every director's life when it is time to fold up the fancy chair with your name on it and stop making movies. For M. Night Shyamalan, that time was right after the release of his single hit The Sixth Sense. Had he stopped while he was ahead, Shyamalan might have spared us the drivel that he so fondly ti...