: About Me

I'm a professional speaker/comedian who talks about staying on the funny side of life. My website (www.kellyswanson.net) will tell you more.

My passion is ...

humor and writing

I know too much about ...

humor and writing and chocolate

My parents always told me ...

to close my mouth I was catching flies

My childhood ambition ...

to grow up and write books

My favorite memory ...

anything with food in it

Why I write ...

because I have to

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

Janet Evanovich is my hero, all things CSI, anything Bluegrass, and anyone who loves to make people laugh

My first job ...

watching other people's chldren

My best moment ...

I'm supposed to say when my child was born - I want to say when I got to open for Loretta Lynn

My inspiration ...

Jesus

Creative Writing > Reflections Reflections on the saying "keep your friends close and your enemies closer"

9 of 15

My sister borrows my new car, wrecks it, while wearing my favorite sweater to go meet my boyfriend on the sly - and I forgive her. That lady in front of me had twelve items instead of ten in the express lane, and I have stewed about it for three years and if I see her again I will probably key her car. My best friend in middle school was required to run away with me. My best friend in college needed only to have a car and an obsession with leg warmers. My hairdresser dumped her husband after three hours but has held on to her favorite pair of jeans for ten years - for sentimental reasons. ...

More..

Writing:

• Marketplace Approved Writer
• Helium Charter Member