: About Me

First, I must explain that I am not from Earth, and it would be harmful to your person and your monitor, (which would have a hideous green smudge burned indelibly into the screen) if I were to post an image of myself in that small rectilinear space to the right, which your administrators have so kindly allotted for photographs of members. (I almost wrote rectalinear, but only a careless ass would do that.) However, to produce a reasonable facsimile of my physical structure, do the following:

1- From the spherical portion of the graphic image, draw 5 radiating lines to the left, and 3 similar ones to the right, all of them extending slightly upward.

2- At the end of each line draw a small circle. Do not fret if your skill is not adequate to make it perfectly round.

3- Projecting from each side of the vertical portion of the rectangular gray section with the radiused upper corners, draw a pair of concentric semi-circular arcs, so the image looks like half of what you earthlings refer to as a donut.

4- From the bottom of the same section, extend it downwards about 5 times its existing height, to produce a very tall rectangular shape, which should also have similarly radiused corners at the lower end.

5. On the bottom edge draw 3 circles, as large as will fit side by side.

6- Now rotate the finished drawing 180 degrees, and there you'll have it: a replica of a Zeus 9 resident- the undomesticated version of the ZZitt!

No, that is not what I look like- that was a joke that we like to play on inhabitants of foreign planets that we visit.

The ZZitt is a zpecies somewhat equivalent to your jackrabbit, and indigenous to the Zorastian Mountains of Zeus 9. Its legz are azymmetrical, as you can zee, having evolved that way from running around on the mountainzides for eonz. Of course, once one of them starts running, (and they are very fast), you won't see it for a long time, for its legz don't allow it to run in the oppozite direction on the mountainzide. (It zimply falls over and tumblez down the zlope until it hits a rock or tree.)

No, the ZZitt has to keep running around the mountain until it gets back to the vizinity of where it wanted to be, then stops in the new location to graze on the Zeenyaz, (flowering plants from which it derives most of its nourishment), or to do whatever it had planned for recreation that day. ZZitts are considered a game animal, but are a protected zpecies that cannot be hunted with our lazir piztols or riflez (as you would call them), because the z-rays create hazardous chemicals such as tranzlucid fatz and parabolic enzymerz in their flesh, making them tangentially intranzigent and thus incompatible with ingestion.

The only way to capture one of these timid, easily frightened (but very tasty) creatures is to zneak up on one while it's grazing, and shout "ZIX!" (or "ZEVEN") very loudly, which will either cause it to drop dead of a heart attack on the spot, or lose its balance and tumble down a very steep hill, where hopefully it will crash into a rock and finish the job for you.

I see that I have digressed, seriously I'm afraid, but I have a matter to attend to that will occupy an hour or so. Therefore, I will resume my bio, as you call it, after a brief hiatus. (possibly only a loatus)

Armanda

My passion is ...

Zydeco music, as it resembles the call of the coniferous umlaut of my homeland.

I know too much about ...

Earth- and I am displeased with what you have done to it.

My parents always told me ...

xzylo-mellifl-ong zowee! (It does not translate well to English)

My childhood ambition ...

To go schusswigging through the rings of Saturn

My favorite memory ...

Chasing wild ferndocs on the slopes of the Platypus Hills

Why I write ...

It is not for your simple mind to inquire

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

Zydeco Pete and the Woodpeckers

My first job ...

Abducting humans in Arkansas for brain wave study. Futile- non-detectable with our current instrumentation.

My best moment ...

Successfully playing the 900 string zitherong

My inspiration ...

The universe

Travel > Destination Guides (Other) The best things about your city

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The Best Things About St.Paul: Well, the first best thing is that it isn't Minneapolis, also known as Mill City, due to the number of flour mills there. The second best thing is that the Mississippi River serves as a separating border between the two cities for much of St. Paul's western city limits. Originally, about the time the decision was going to be made as to where to locate the Minnesota State Capital, there were no bridges joining the two cities. The citizens of Minneapolis, ill-bred and unkempt ruffians though they were, assumed that their city, being the larger, ought to be chos...

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