: About Me

Hi there!

Some of you already know who I am, and it is unfair because (a) I probably called you "Daddy", or "Ma", or "Kapug" when I was a kid. Or, you have googled my name, have bought one of my books, have taken my hula class, have been cussed out by me in an email or a discussion forum. My name is Roxanne Cottell, also known as "Aunty", or "The Web's Infamous Aunty," or "Mapuana", or simply just "Mapu." I love to write. I write everyday if I can.

I teach hula, because it is what I have done for as long as I have been able to pick up a pencil and write "Once upon a time" way back in 1975 when I was in Kindergarten and telling Mrs. Gaston that I really had to pee. She never let me go, and I always ended up peeing right there on her classroom floor. (Then she had the nerve to blame me for it! And people wonder why I have issues!) ...anyhow...

...let's see...hula...Mrs. Gaston...oh! Of Course! I have written two books. I am pretty darned proud of them, too. The first one is titled "ANGRY: Some Words About The Crap In Your Life," and my latest title "The Observations of a Demented Housewife." "ANGRY..." is rated - R for language and honesty, and "Observations..." is PG-13 for adult humor.

I am a very spiritual person, very intuitive...and HEY, YOU! "Intuitive" does not mean that I am psychic. There are people who have the Gift of Intuition who do not know what your future holds, okay? We are not all Ms. Cleo. Turn off the television and get thee to the library already and LEARN, because your greatest asset for learning and growing is your own experience in life.

I am a medical Marijuana patient in theory, but not in practice. I advocate the use of that gray thing between your ears that no one can take a vote on (hint - it's called an original thought and I am big on original thoughts). It is my opinion that people who are in pain should have the right to no longer be in pain, to not have to suffer yet more indignity because some guy in a three piece Italian suit with an agenda does not want to lose his place in the eyes of political society. I believe firmly that common sense is in short use these days, especially about the medicinal use of a plant that was here long before any humans were. What I cannot get over is that these guys in the suits who decide what will work for our ailments according to his bank account have the very audacity to never ask a patient, only ask a scientist, and never really listen to what they are being told by the medically high masses who should have the choice and the freedom to feel better without the danger of becoming addicted to the thing they need so much - relief.

I have lost friends to cancer and AIDS, and in the end they all said that if it were not for the Mary Jo, they would surely have ended their own suffering because what they had to go through was bad enough. To have someone who could not possibly know what these people had to go through, who could not even begin to know or to understand, is not just evil, mean and nasty, it is morally wrong. Too many people want to judge others based simply on the way that they choose to find relief. What I want to ask those people is this - if it were you, would you want someone who did not know what your suffering was like to tell you what was best for you, or would you rather be able to do one of the things that you could still actively do - choose? Would you want someone who did not know you telling you that you would go to jail, regardless of your frail condition, just so that the masses who are blinded by their own assumptions would not think that he was advocating illegal drug use?

Take heart that not all illnesses can be cured, and take more heart that when you are suffering, when you are in pain, sometimes the thing that makes you feel human again is being able to choose the way that you will no longer have to suffer other than ending your own life. When you are told you are terminal, you already know how you will die, know that you will die before your time, and it is, at least I am told, a nice thing to be able to not have to be told how you will live. Be nice to potheads. They will never go on a drunken and pill induced rage because they are too busy laughing and eating and falling asleep.

I am an advocate for those who have to be the face of people who are dying from the effects of those drugs which are supposed to be helping, not hurting. Become an advocate. You don't have to use Marijuana to be a patient. You just have to have a heart. I am a card carrying Marijuana Patient, and I will be for the rest of my life. To all my friends who are sick and dying, I love you and I will always love you, and to all my friends who have passed, I will continue your quiet, peaceful fight. Aloha and rest in perfect peace...

Okay, I guess that is it for now! I want you to stop by my website, freewebs.com/auntymapuana, and sign my guestbook. AND I want you to be one of friends in myspace. You can search for me using key term "auntymapuana". You can also find me and my words at cafemom.com under the moniker of "InfamousAunty".

Be blessed!
MAPU

My passion is ...

Spirituality, Writing, Studying

I know too much about ...

come on, you can never know too much about anything.

My parents always told me ...

that I could not have a mohawk.

My childhood ambition ...

was to grow up and be fabulous!

My favorite memory ...

teaching Dora how to ride a bike, but you would have to ask her about that!

Why I write ...

Because I like being the walking epitome of "All brains and this, too"

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

my mind chattering

My first job ...

was not one that I really liked too much

My best moment ...

...is on its way

My inspiration ...

life itself

Travel > Travel Planning & Advice The truth about Hawaii

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I am a "Mainland Hawaiian," born and raised in Southern California. I am not the typical Hawaiian Auntie. I do not wear mu'u mu'us on a daily or even weekly basis, and I am not the stereotypical woman of large girth who people see as a grunting, constantly eating, having ten babies (though there is nothing wrong with having ten babies), talks-in-broken-English and who is married to a toothless guy who can fix anything with a screwdriver and some WD40. Quite the contrary. I am your typical Mainland Auntie, the kind that local Hawaiians in the islands love to hate. Though I love my 'aina bre...

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