I am a housewife, and mother of three. I enjoy every moment spent with my family, as I've learned how quickly time passes.

I have been writing since I was 5. One day I tore the pages of one of my mother's magazines into roughly equivalent pieces, stapled the papers into book-like form, and wrote wherever white space called my name. I'm not really sure why it never occurred to me to just ask for a notebook.

Food and wine is another of my long-standing passions, and it led to my own monthly informational/humorous column with a local magazine. The avid following I gained from the months I spent at the magazine caused me to be a wee bit brave and put some things out on the information super-highway. So, here I am.

Currently I write for various print and online publications, one being a weekly online column for a luxury website in which I get to pretend I'm a snobbish aristocrat giving advice to the newly rich.

My passion is ...

life.

I know too much about ...

nothing.

My parents always told me ...

not to run with tomahawks; someone could lose a scalp.

My childhood ambition ...

was to run with a tomahawk and watch someone lose a scalp.

My favorite memory ...

is the time I ran with a miniature tomahawk, and my Barbie lost her scalp.

Why I write ...

because I love it.

My first job ...

was as a coach for the Olympic Synchronized-Snapping team.

My best moment ...

every moment.

My inspiration ...

is any artist that not only wants entertain us with their music, but teach us to spell, as well. Artists such as Fergie, Aretha Franklin, and the Bay City Rollers must really care about education, and I think that's G-R-E-A-T!

Creative Writing > Memoirs My most humorous gardening (mis)adventure

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Gardening requires a temporary suspension of one's vanity. Besides the dirt element, there's the broken finger nails, the scratches from thorns or briars, and the well-earned sweat we experience after a few good hours of weeding. I found a way, however, to actually improve my looks while I labor in my beautiful garden. One day while working at some particularly stubborn roots that were threatening my day lilies, I fell backwards when I pulled on the roots by wedging my trowel underneath them. The trowel popped up and slightly bruised my lips, but my lip gloss covered the bruises with no...

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