: About Me

David was born in 1954 in a remote part of the Kent countryside. His parents were very poor and along with a colony of doormice, they all lived together in a tiny house with no electricity, but running water in every room. Usually down the walls.One day it became necessary to say goodbye to the family of doormice and move to somewhere that supported human life, where David discovered television and a love of the spoken and written word.
He moved around with his parents until one day they settled in a ghastly place called south east London. He spent sixteen years plotting his escape, which he achieved by entering into two disastrous marriages, though not at the same time. He achieved a remarkable rise and fall, several times in his life, rubbing shoulders with politicians, minor celebrities and some of the most dangerous elements in the underworld before settling, in another quiet place of the remote Kent countryside, with his rottweiler Mister Sykes. Named after Bill Sykes, from the musical Oliver! played by the sadly missed Oliver Reed.
David is handsome, egotistical and very clever. At least that's what he'd like you to think. He remains however, someone with a great sense of humour, who doesn't take himself too seriously, but maintains a lust for life.

My passion is ...

Still being alive after such a colourful life.

I know too much about ...

How slippery banana skins are.

My parents always told me ...

Shoot at the moon and be grateful if you at least hit the chimney pots.

My childhood ambition ...

To be a cowboy.

My favorite memory ...

Walking through the farmyard to meet my Dad coming home from work. It's estimated I was barely 3 at the time.

Why I write ...

It's the only thing that stops me talking.

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

To all three I say, Cooking, Philosophy and Derren Brown the master illusionist.

My first job ...

Was working in a grocer's shop wearing an overall that was probably meant for John Wayne.

My best moment ...

Right now.

My inspiration ...

Muhammad Ali and Michael Schumacher.

Entertainment > Musicians & Bands Questioning the talents of the reunited Spice Girls

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After squandering huge sums of cash, a couple of the Spice Girls have persuaded their ex band members to join up and exploit the merchandising opportunities that only Christmas could give them. Victoria Beckham, financially secure after marrying David Beckham and dropping the "Posh" tag in favour of "Victoria" has with the assistance of highly paid marketing gurus, developed a Beckham brand. Quite what is desirable at being associated with a stick insect with plastic boobs and a broken down, once good soccer player, who now believe that they are somehow above the rest of the world that the...

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