Articles written by Michael Harrison

Where Knowledge Rules

What is Helium

About me - Michael Harrison

There's not really that much to tell. Forty years old, have a wife and kids, living in the burbs. We have pets, the BBQ in the backyard, ahhh the American Dream. I love writing humor. I will stray once in a while if a subject intrigues me enough, but mostly

+ more bio information

RSS Feed

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Hunting: 2 of 23
Hunters have always fascinated me more than the hunting itself. The lengths and expense of what these people will do to go hunting is mind boggling. For people who live in rural areas that hunt to put food on the table, I completely understand your demise and wish better times to come your way. I have no objection to you tak... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Wal-Mart: 3 of 21
I took a part-time job at WalMart during the holidays, talk about your momentary lapse of reason. It was seasonal, figured we could use the extra income and besides, it's WalMart, how hard could it be. Little did I know that when Dante wrote his Inferno, he was prognosticating about WalMart. Now I have worked retail before. ... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: The way I really feel: 2 of 12
Wow! They didn't really put this as a subject did they? I guess so. Lesson learned for the people who pick the subjects, being a little more specific with the titles will keep people like me from droning on endlessly. Enough coffee and I could collapse the memory banks at Helium.com First of all, and I mean this from the dep... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Men's toys: 1 of 3
Ahhh, toys. Toys, toys, toys. Let us first debunk some well established myths here first. A car is not a toy. Got that ladies? A car to a man, especially one that dotes over his car or has a hobby that involves restoring old vehicles, is a living breathing thing. We take pride in them, we take care of them and we nurture the... More..
Politics, News & Issues > War in Iraq Should the US pull out its troops regardless of whether Iraq is ready to defend its people?: 85 of 214
I'm not going to get into the sensationalism that our media outlets are so famous for. I always have and always will take what comes from the media with a grain, or several grains, of salt. I am a veteran of the United States Air Force, 1986-1992. I had tours of duty in Korea, North Dakota, and Germany. I had several tempora... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Surgery: 4 of 10
Surgery is something that you hope you never have to go through. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to have to have surgery, let me relate my own experience, it may help lighten your perspective. I've had four surgeries up to now, two were elective and two were not. Of the first two, one was oral surgery and the other wa... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Life: 168 of 343
Whoever coined the term 'life sucks, then you die', almost had it right. Almost. Only some things in life suck. For the most part, unless you are a convicted murderer on death row waiting for your turn in the electrified easy chair, I think life treats most of us well. While life is most certainly fraught with tragedy, you g... More..
Sports & Recreation > Football (Other) The mystique of the Dallas Cowboys: 1 of 2
I don't think that it is a 'mystique' that surrounds the Dallas Cowboys so much as it is just a great appeal, an appeal that has been handed down from generation to generation. You could also call it a matter of great timing. Football was just coming into its own in the 1950s. It had begun to steal some of the spotlight from... More..
Creative Writing > Memoirs Memoirs: Family memories: 33 of 56
Snow Angels It's amazing how viewing life from a childs eyes can change your perspective. I don't know if it's that we can't remember how to, or if it's just that we spend more of our lives fretting over small problems that it has become impossible. My children are a constant reminder that no matter how bad things can get, y... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Dating: 32 of 49
Dating is one of the most cruel forms of self imposed punishment the human race has ever come up with. I think that the dating process in and of itself in largely responsible for a huge percentage of the failed marriages in this country. Dating takes a lot of the truth out of the two persons involved. If we acted like we do ... More..