Articles written by Mark Morford

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About me - Mark Morford

Mark's column is on vacation as of January 9, while he traipses around India, seeking exotic spices and text messaging with Gods. It will return near the end of the month. Maybe. There is not a lot of coverage for text messages out there. But...they are Gods....

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Computers & Technology > Internet Issues Is Myspace addicting?: 1 of 23
I'm Drunk And Naked On MySpace!Plus, more great reasons you can never run for office. Also: Are teens insanely boring?Upon the hot heavy-petted hard drive inside the overworked MacBook Pro on which I am typing these words right now sits a rather wide variety of video clips - homemade, semi-pro and otherwise - of a nature that... More..
Relationships & Family > Love & Lust Sex, Love, Relationships: Knowing what you want: 1 of 20
How To Get Your Love OnWhen I was single I was in a unique position.No mortgage. No debt.No daily array of behavioral meds . No significant or particularly dangerous skeletons - none that can speak or call the CIA or reveal the location of the photographs buried on my hard drive, anyway.This, as you might imagine, is a weirdl... More..
Relationships & Family > Communication Issues Communicating in text-message style: Is it ruining real communication?: 3 of 46
DRUNK. WANTSEXSEXNOW. TXT ME!Where were you when text-message sex came and went like a naughty geeky thief in the night?Ah, memories. The longing for a simpler time, when the Net was young and the e-thrill was new and alt.sex newsgroups were all the rage and e-mail was actually titillating and interesting you could send a pot... More..
Autos > Fuel Economy Are electric vehicles the answer to high gas prices?: 1 of 13
Lick My Silent Sports CarHow much has Big Auto lied? Take a drive in this four-wheel electric orgasm, and find outOh my God do they ever lie.All of them: Big Auto, Big Oil, BushCo, Pennzoil and Havoline and Saudi Arabia and crusty Alaska Senator Ted Stevens and the oil lobbyists and lackey scientists working for the Departmen... More..
Politics, News & Issues > Party Politics & Ideology Liberal and conservative labels: Understanding political rationale: 2 of 18
The whine of voracious liberalsDoes the extremism of some progressives spell danger to delicious evolution? Well, yesI hear it nearly every week in response to nearly any column that has anything to do with me daring to say I appreciate or admire or moderately wish to commend some sort of progressive movement or corporation o... More..
Personal Finance > Credit Cards How credit card companies prey on the ignorance of youth: 1 of 8
Let us get drunk and meditateHere is your Enlightenment Visa card and your Zen green-tea liqueur. Go forth and levitateBut wait, before you do, let us note another modern classic of fantastic, ultra-warped spiritual misappropriation, a perfect example of sheer capitalist opportunism meeting alt-lifestyle absurdity in the stic... More..
Education > Educational Philosophy Education (or lack thereof): America is getting dumber: 11 of 64
American kids, dumber than dirt ?Warning: The next generation might just be the biggest pile of idiots in U.S. historyI have this ongoing discussion with a longtime reader who also just so happens to be a longtime Oakland high school teacher, a wonderful guy who's seen generations of teens come and generations go and who has ... More..
Creative Writing > Satire Satire: President George Bush: 3 of 17
12 things to throw at BushA shoe? Not bad. But surely we can do better-Thousands of Iraqis took to the streets Monday to demand the release of a reporter who threw his shoes at President George W. Bush, as Arabs across many parts of the Middle East hailed the journalist as a hero and praised his insult as a proper send-off to... More..
Personal Finance > Smart Spending The cost of convenience: A comparison between prices at convenience stores and other stores: 13 of 69
Is Safeway Sucking Your Soul?Are overlit, heavily toxic supermarkets making you ill and eating your brain? Why, yesIt's like a goddamn circus in there.It really is. It's like some bizarrely overlit funhouse, a massive chaotic attack on all your senses and an outright assault on your optic nerves, and that's well before you've... More..
Health & Fitness > Pilates & Yoga The benefits of yoga: 6 of 30
Yoga Butts And BlissIt may be all trendy and hip, but that doesn't mean yoga can't change your lifeSo I suppose now's a good time to chime in on this whole yoga craze thing, given how I'm way into the practice myself and even teach it now and then and have been known to spontaneously reply in the least preachy manner possible... More..