Articles written by Doug Burrell

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About me - Doug Burrell

35 year old male, NC

facebook.com/dougburrell, twitter.com/dougwburrell

I'm a single father with custody of my beautiful and very smart 8 year old daughter. Raising her provides me with most of my inspiration when I write. I live in southeastern NC.

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Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Christmas humor: 1 of 59
Derek, The Christmas Gorilla Now, gather 'round and you all will hear A classic tale of Christmas cheer. You won't believe what I have to say About a gorilla and Christmas day. Not long ago, does our story start About an ape without a heart. His name was Derek and he was scary. Bald on top, but his body was hairy. He was nev... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Love humor: 5 of 49
"How do you know when you're in love?" I asked a butterfly. "How should I know, go ask the dove", Is what he did reply. "How do you know if love is real?" I asked a potted plant. "I don't know, but here's the deal. "Why don't you ask an ant?" "How do you know if love will last?" I asked a mini-van. "Have you seen the price o... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Dating humor: 2 of 9
HOW I PICKED UP BETH The first time I saw Beth A thought came to my mind "I'd really like to meet her" But I needed a good line And so I asked my friend To give me some advice He said, "Just go up to her And tell her she looks nice" So later on that day I saw her all alone I said, "You look as good As a 'Grade A' choice T-bo... More..
Celebrations & Holidays > Weddings (Other) Worst wedding advice: 3 of 12
I've been a fan of Mike Love's since I was a kid. He's the lead singer of The Beach Boys. Naturally, when I got married, I wrote to him to ask for advice on how to have a long and happy marriage. After reading his letter, it's no wonder my marriage failed so quickly. - Dear Doug, You asked me to share with you my recipe for ... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Love: 2 of 8
I recall vividly the first time I fell in love. I remember it well as it's not something I'm soon likely to forget. Oh, and she was a peach! A real pretty girl. I don't recall exactly what she looked like, but I'm sure it was right nice. I met her in my 11th grade French class. Since I'd clearly mastered the English language... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Relationships: 27 of 76
A Call to my Sweetie Last night, I called my sweetie, Beth. We've gone out for a few months now and she's pretty hung up on me. I mean, I don't want to sound conceited, but she really digs me a lott. Sometimes, I worry she's a little TOO into me. Anyway, when I called yesterday, her mother answered the phone. "Hello," she sa... More..
Arts & Humanities > Who & What is Helium Helium writer autobiographies: 28 of 73
The Life and Times of a Boy named Doug, as Told by Doug Himself Chapter 1 Being Birthed Used to be I wasn't always was. Before I was was, I wasn't. That is until my momma made me was when she birthed me. I reckon' I've been was for 35 years now. I was born in a very famous city called Baltimore. It's in Maryland, which, I su... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Halloween: 5 of 13
A Beach Boys Halloween: Featuring Brian Wilson, Al Jardine, Mike Love, Dennis Wilson, Bruce Johnston and Carl Wilson of The Beach Boys! On Halloween day, Brian, Carl and Dennis picked out their costumes in preparation for a long night of "trick-or-treating." Brian wore horns and carried a pitchfork. "You must be the devil," ... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Humorous: 225 of 478
A Letter to my hero, Mike Love, of The Beach Boys Dear Mike, How ya been? It's me again, your bestest friend, just checking in. I wrote those stories like you told me to. I'd do anything for you, anything you asked me to. I'd even sue. I saw you in concert last week. It was really neat. Bruce sounded really sweet. Too bad 'b... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Dating: 33 of 49
I know it's not very manly, but I'm totally into chick flicks and Hugh Grant is one of my favorite actors. So, when "Bridget Jones 2" came out at the theater, I wanted to go. I couldn't go alone (way too insecure for that), so I asked a female friend of mine to go with me and she reluctantly agreed. (She's more into action a... More..