: About Me

Carnac is a jack of all trades, master of none. Part Renaissance Man, part Handy Man, part stand up comic, he likes to claim he can fix anything. Sometimes he even can.

With far too much education for his own good, he plays the piano, flies planes, studies the stock market, programs computers, speaks three languages, ice skates, and tinkers with electronics.

Modest enough not to reveal his IQ, he is nonetheless arrogant enough to believe anyone would ever want to read his rants at all.

He lives in a secret cave on the moon equipped with cable and satellite TV, along with his partner of 7 years and a big black German Shepherd. He often visits your planet to dispense his witty remarks which, like precious gems, derive their value from their scarcity.

My passion is ...

knowledge for its own sake.

I know too much about ...

English speling

My parents always told me ...

to turn that $%&# TV off and go play outside.

My childhood ambition ...

was to have ambition.

My favorite memory ...

is sadly forgotten.

Why I write ...

As a form of psychological sadism, with you the reader as victim.

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

Reading: market updates/watching TCM/listening to VNV

My first job ...

Homogenizing rat brains (honest - you don't want to know)

My best moment ...

Passing my FAA multiengine land airplane rating test

My inspiration ...

Futurama

• Helium Charter Member