Matthew Christopher About Me Page at Helium

Matt writes stuff. He also photographs stuff.

Buy him a beer.

I know too much about ...

semi-obscure musicians and b-sides.

My parents always told me ...

"Get your elbows off of the table or I'm gonna jab them with my fork."

My childhood ambition ...

involved rocket ships and surfing.

My favorite memory ...

was a dream when I was seven about riding a triceratops through the house.

Why I write ...

because my sixth grade teacher said nice things about my story about friction.

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner/my computer monitor/"March into the Sea" by Modest Mouse

My first job ...

taught me how to smoke cigarettes. (My wife taught me to quit.)

Creative Writing > Satire Satire: City seeks treatment for inferiority complex: 1 of 2

Kansas City, Mo.After years of being overlooked and neglected, the Midwestern metropolitan Kansas City is reportedly seeing a therapist to counter what are being described as "feelings of inadequacy." Despite less crime, a larger population and simply being a more pleasant place to visit, the renowned City of Fountains has failed to get out of the shadow of its cross-state nemesis St. Louis. Many claim that the problem stems from simply being "too damn nice." "Being elected as having the cleanest tap water in an American city, well that's pleasant, but it doesn't earn you much respect," re...
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