Articles written by Blake Guthrie - Page 3

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What is Helium

About me - Blake Guthrie

I'm an opinionated singer and guitarist with a writing problem.

I live in Decatur, GA-which means Atlanta to those of you outside of Georgia. Decatur is not really a suburb, per se, just a small town, older than Atlanta, and surrounded by it. I refuse to

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Travel > United States Florida's hidden beaches: Where to go and why: 25 of 40
PRISTINE ISOLATION -Escape the rowdy Keys to the peace and quiet of Dry Tortugas National Park- "Keep your eyes on the horizon and if you get sick, go for distance." Wise words from the captain of the high-speed ferry Fast Cat. I hobbled back to the stern, hung my head over the side and waited for the nightmare to end. Then,... More..
Entertainment > Music Business Tips for musicians and bands when approaching music journalists: 6 of 9
FIRST CONTACT -It's not business, it's personal- As a working musician who is also a working music journalist I've made friends in both fields of the music industry, so I feel I have something to offer to this topic outside the traditional methods. The number-one thing to consider when approaching a journalist is first-conta... More..
Travel > Air Travel & Airlines How to prepare a cat for air travel: 2 of 3
The correct way to prepare your cat for air travel is: Don't take your cat on a frigging plane! I know it happens all the time, because people are on the move and they have pets. But do you really want to hand a creature you love over to the airlines, without a steward, in what essentially amounts to a completely hostile and... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Helium.com: 17 of 24
Every time I log onto to Helium I see her. Lately she's even shown up in my dreams off-line. You know who I'm talking about: the Helium girl. That hot brunette with the girl-next-door looks and the Peter Pan haircut. She's always clutching her three-ring binder to her chest, so we can't really see how big her boobs are. Or m... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Anger: 297 of 403
IRONY the landlord makes me angry when he comes over to sweep my stoop the poet makes me angry when he rhymes every other line the feminist makes me angry for being angry herself because I choose to use the male pronoun i hate rhyming poets sweeping landlords and angry feminists i hate, i hate, i hate those who would critici... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: A little closer to my dream: 7 of 9
people stopping to ask for directions, the time people walking their dogs past and I'll stop to chat with their dogs but the one I love most is the one so absent, so affable, who once asked me "what day is it?" the one a little closer to my dream More..
Travel > Travel Diaries & Adventures (Other) Travel experiences: Off the beaten path: 66 of 84
While riding my mountain bike along the White Rock Bay loop trail, I saw three huge figures ahead of me that I assumed to be riders on horseback. The closer I came, the more unsure I was until, finally, I slammed on the brakes, realizing I was interrupting a mating attempt by two bulls in competition for a cow. Bison are doc... More..
Arts & Humanities > Helium Dos & Don'ts Should a picture and bio be required on the writer's Helium home page?: 25 of 31
Okay, okay, already. I get it. I've changed my mind and put up a real photo and bio of myself. I'm no longer "Batman" who knows too much about "living in caves" and whose parents are "deceased," but that still doesn't mean that I think these things should be required on Helium. It's not my website and I'm not Thomas Jefferso... More..
Arts & Humanities > Comic Books & Graphic Novels Who would win in a fight: Superman or Batman?: 26 of 32
Are you kidding? Superman would kick my ass! I have no special, super-human, physical powers and he does. Superman is from another planet, another solar system. Everyone knows that if you go from a system with a red sun to one with a yellow sun that you can, basically, own everything under the yellow sun, if you want to. So,... More..
Entertainment > Characters & Personalities Who would win in a fight: Jack Bauer or Chuck Norris?: 10 of 12
Yeah, yeah, I know-people might bitch that this is a fight between a fictional character (Jack Bauer) and a real person (Chuck Norris) and therefore not valid, but let's use some poetic license here and assume that the sissy-ass known as Jack Bauer is actually a real person. Okay, where do we go from here? Well, in the real ... More..