: About Me

Some people dance the jitter-bug
But this cynic does the bitter-bug
I dance upon ideas with heavy heel and toe
And if you ever cross my path you will become my foe.

I live in Minneapolis, MN.

Hunter Thompson, Kurt Vonnegut, David Sedaris, John Kennedy Toole and newly, Anne Lamott are among my favorite authors. I want to be a famous author, but even if I were, doubtful I would be my favorite; I dislike myself, and everything I stand for.

I currently write a theoretically monthly, but subject to the erratic whims of the editor, column for a paper called the Southwest Journal in Minneapolis. It's a humor column with no poop jokes...yet.

My passion is ...

Squirrels

I know too much about ...

The inner workings of the CIA

My parents always told me ...

You are a very bad child

My childhood ambition ...

To be a good boy

My favorite memory ...

This one time, when a friend had a good time and told me about it.

Why I write ...

Because I think with ink.

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

David Sedaris, Barrel Fever.

My first job ...

Bus Boy!

My best moment ...

Primal Scream-it was all downhill after that.

My inspiration ...

KV

Creative Writing > Memoirs Memoirs: Traveling

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North By Northwest July, 2005 The trip to Anchorage was a sentimental one for me. I lived there from 1999-2000; one tumultuous and defining year in my development as a young man. Like so many other adventures, I was under cover of college-a national exchange program coordinated by a man named Carl Douglas (not of Kung Fu Fightin') through South Dakota State University and the University of Anchorage. Whatever was exchanged in return for me was not enough. It would have taken nothing less than a Pope to balance the evil committed in that Great State. The endless darkness and the endless pot...

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