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Creative Writing > Humor Humor: High school

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Lovesick Moron Writes Girl Love PoemA high school junior's ill conceived attempt to charm a classmate with a self-penned love poem ended in complete, predictable catastrophe yesterday, sources report.Evidently, 17 year-old gaywad Blair McKinney got the dumb idea to author the preposterously maudlin attempt at verse from the o... More..

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: War

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News From A More Just Parallel Past - Jews To Remain In Germany After Besting Nazi Bowling Team - The Nazi authority in Germany has sportingly abandoned their initiative to expunge all ethnic Jews from the country after losing a bowling match to their Semetic rivals Tuesday.The contest, which pitted a team comprised of promin... More..

Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Music

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Die Hard Metallica Fans Protest Planned Removal of Band's Feeding Tube -Throngs of Metallica fans have flocked around Time Warner corporate headquarters to protest the imminent removal of the washed up rock band's feeding tube.The band, whose creative integrity suffered extensive damage after a gruesome plunge from atop the m... More..

Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Facing death

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Man who had Near Death Experience Arrested for being Under Influence of DMT -A man who drove through a local pet store after suffering a heart attack behind the wheel of his car on Thursday was arrested after it was discovered that he was under the influence of the hallucinogenic drug DMT (dimethyltryptamine) at the time.The ... More..

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Emotions

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Sadness, Anger Outlawed In Irvine, CaliforniaAs of this Monday morning, it is no longer legal to be publicly sad or angry in the affluent Orange County suburb of Irvine, California.At the behest of The Irvine Company, the real estate investment company that owns most of the land and property comprising the city deemed the saf... More..

Creative Writing > Satire Satire: War

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Iraq War Veteran Dies Trying to Protect Buffet Ice Cream Machine from Obese WomanHome just eight weeks after being wounded during his second tour in Iraq, Javier Rodriguez of Macon, Georgia died in a valiant attempt to protect the financial solvency of his new employer from the gluttony of an overweight customer when he inser... More..

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Work

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Gimme Gimme Gimme!By: Your Company's CEOOh, hi there! Are you enjoying the company picnic? Too bad it has to be the last. Every penny counts in staying abreast with the competition, you know. Oh my! Is this lovely lady your wife? What is such a pretty thing doing with a bum like you? No accounting for taste, I suppose. Just k... More..

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Lack of sanity

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Environmental Tips for the Criminally Insane The next time you have a corpse to dispose of, bury it somewhere with acidic soil and cover the body with plenty of quicklime. The organic material from the guy you killed combined with the calcium oxide of the lime will both nurture the soil and raise its pH, making it more conduc... More..

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Relationships

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Thanks For The Kidney Honey, But I Think We Should See Other PeopleHi honey, how are you feeling this morning? Still a bit under the weather from the transplant, huh? Well, the doctor said it would take a couple of months. Surprisingly, I'm feeling a lot better. Better than I have in years thanks to you, and although I've sai... More..

Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Dreams

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Ask Dr. Shill - Corporate Dream AnalystDear Dr. Shill,I've been having this strange recurring dream lately. In it, I'm sitting alone in an apartment I used to share with my ex-boyfriend when my heart just sort of hops out of my chest and lands on the floor. Curiously, this doesn't harm me physically; rather, I find it quite e... More..

Aleister Pinkbelly

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