Aleister Pinkbelly About Me Page at Helium

Besides the day job I work to pay the bills, I write for NewsMutiny.com amongst other things. email: davegreg@newsmutiny.com

Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Freedom: 12 of 15

Someone Should Pass Some Laws to Protect Me from My Big Fat Drunken Dumb Self Hey, there. How's it going? Not so good here. I'm a total blimp, my blood pressure is off the chart, and at the age of thirty-five my doctor says I'm overdue for a heart attack unless I cut out all my bad habits and start living healthy. Sadly however, on top of being an enormous drunken pig, I'm a complete imbecile with the self control of a six year old, so unless our do-nothing government starts passing some laws banning these deadly products that I can't keep my fat paws from shoving into my greedy, gaping pi...
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