About me - porfle

I write, and I'm an amateur, so I guess I could presume to call myself an amateur writer.

Right now I do movie reviews, interviews, and the occasional article for BumsCorner.com and a weekly humor piece for Andervision.com. At least I hope it's humor-I write

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Creative Writing > Songs Songs: Depression

"Undertow" Planting the seeds of friends in need Sprouting from sofas like bug-eyed weeds Silently, vaguely attempting to be Defined by some flickering made-for-tv I can sense an undertow Of present tense now long ago Former lies revealed by latter Breathe a sigh and feel them scatter I find this carpet fascinating Sight acr...

Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Humorous

I Have To Go Urinate I'm getting that feeling, that won't go away I know I must go, though I'd much rather stay I don't want to rise, from this nice, comfy chair But I'm starting to fidget, and they're starting to stare I have to go urinate It's ever so urgent The act is impending The result is emergent My bladder is burstin...

Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Poems for children

"I Hop and Hop for Puppy Dog" I hop and hop for Puppy Dog And wave my arms around! I somersault and cartwheel And wiggle on the ground! I hop and hop for Puppy Dog He likes it very much! I put my wooden shoes on And pretend that I am Dutch! I hop and hop for Puppy Dog Then strike a foppish stance! And sometimes I pretend to ...

Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Midnight

The Places I Have Been In dead of night A chamber, still and dark As I remember there's a lamp Its shade a stained glass swirl Of amber when the light is on. But now as darkness fills the room And I, unwilling to assume My memory will serve me well As I traverse an unseen floor Reach out to feel the fragile dome And then, a ...

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Confusion

One day I was sitting at the computer, googling pictures of Mickey Dolenz, when suddenly I looked out the screen door and spotted a short, middle-aged bald man running around my house in his underwear. I ran out onto the front porch and waited for him to come by again. Presently the man rounded the corner of my house and cam...

Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: Cashback

CASHBACK (2006) is a strange combination of two things: a raucous comedy, and a sensitive journey through the romantic fantasy world of an emotionally-wounded young emo. Art college student Ben Willis (Sean Biggerstaff) is so introspective, artistic, and sensitive, in fact, that girls who gush over guys like that should be h...

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Fantasy

ON THE HOOF "Hey, cows!" shouted Farmer Shapiro. The cows in the pasture raised their heads sluggishly and looked in his general direction. "Cows! Oh, cows!" The cows squinted at the hazily familiar figure in the distance, vaguely attempting to fathom its curious utterances. "Cows!" Farmer Shapiro repeated. "Din-din time!" M...

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: The moon

The moon would look cool if we could just fill up all the craters and smooth it out. We could use sand or something. I would like to see NASA steamrollers and bulldozers on the moon, with guys in space suits driving them. The bulldozers could shovel the sand into the craters and the steamrollers could level it out until the ...

Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Humorous writing advice

HOW TO WRITE POETRY If ever you should wish to be a poet, don't forget You've got to think of lots of words that rhyme, like "get" and "wet" Then make up several sentences that speak of things sublime Strategically concluding them with all those words that rhyme.

Creative Writing > Songs Songs: Death of a loved one

"Elegy" So many things that I wanted to say I can say them to the wind now So many moments I let slip away Oh, if only I could somehow Turn back time And live it over again Turn back time To a faded where or when Late in the night when there's nobody home There are voices I can still hear Deep in my mind where I'm truly alon...


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