Articles written by Michael Raymond

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About me - Michael Raymond

Michael Raymond's "Phrench Phried Physics" was first published in "Graffito", formerly a satire magazine based out of Australia. Phrench Phries also developed somewhat of a minor following worldwide, as referenced by the number of webpages that still have

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Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Time: 5 of 759
Fleeting, flyingRacing onward never a changeseconds tominutes tohours todays following nights without endseasons,years,centuriespassing as kingdoms crumble.Only Time is sovereign.And what is manwith his works and his buildingsstriving andtrying andhoping toleave behind some small legacyhis cities,his kings,he himselfall rever... More..
Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Culture: 1 of 46
Based on several factors relating to concerns over political correctness, and in the spirit of community so prevalent in today's America, I would like to propose a new, standardized job application to replace the entire multitude of other non-standardized applications currently in use across the country. Not only will this ne... More..
Creative Writing > Short Stories Short stories: Conspiracy: 1 of 23
Shadow Government This will be the last post I make. I can no longer countenance the duplicity; no longer stomach the deception. I can no longer force myself to be content given the current status quo. The rules have changed once again and I am left impotent with this latest course shift. I have enjoyed participating in thi... More..
Arts & Humanities > Languages (Other) Playing with words for the fun of it: 1 of 18
HomonymphomaniacismHomonyms, homophones, homographs and heteronyms: not only is that a mouthful to say, it is a subject that can leave you in a daze for days. You might just have to spell your spell-checker for a bit, because it won't catch most of these, unless you're using "thees" and "thous". It definitely won't like those... More..
Creative Writing > Satire Satire: President George Bush: 1 of 17
State of the Union Address, 2008copyright 2005, Office of the President anda pool of anonymous speech writers.(As seen on the President's teleprompter)My citizens... fellow citizens... of the United States, Senators, Congressmen and Congresswomen, distinguished guests: welcome.(STAGE DIRECTION: ARMS SPREAD IN GESTURE OF WELCO... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Finding bugs in the house: 6 of 75
WOLF SPIDERI live in Arizona; home of coyotes, saguaro cactus and usually large and sometimes rather nasty spiders. Last night, just before bed time, my wife and I were picking up the scattered, abandoned toys on the floor of the bedroom for our two youngest boys. They are six and three, which means that every toy has to be p... More..
Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Understanding relationships: 2 of 25
Battle of the SexesThe subject of equality between men and women has been debated and challenged in virtually every forum available. From court rooms to talk radio, from newspapers to television specials, this topic, almost more than any other, is guaranteed to spark an opinion. Or an argument.What's funny about this is that ... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Food: 14 of 138
Phrench Phried Physics Why is it that the number of fries I get to eat is never equivalent to a complete order? Or, to give this a more scientific name: Observation and Partial Analysis of the Variable Disappearance Rate of Deep Fried Potato Slices. Is this phenomenon the layman's proof positive of black holes? Does it p... More..
Creative Writing > Short Stories Experimental fiction: Dialogue only: 3 of 27
Restoring the Good Name of a Retired President"Mama. How come I look like I'm a hundr'd years old or more and you still look the same as you did when Daddy was president? No, that's not the question I wanted to ask you. Darn this old failin' mem'ry. What I wanted to ask is, you're not really my mama, are you? I mean, are you ... More..
Business > Small & Home Business Tips for small business owners during the current economic climate: 6 of 45
On the Precipice"The plausible outcomes range from the gradual and benign to the more precipitous and damaging."- Timothy GeithnerAlthough Mr. Geithner was speaking of the U.S. deficit, his words are quite apropos and pertinent to any discussion of small business survival. You see it in ever increasing numbers in the cost of ... More..