In the summer of 2006, after living with monopolar depression for much of my adult life, I exploded in a vast manic episode. Before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder it seemed that, all of a sudden, nothing held me back. At various times during that summer I thought I was going to be a spiritual guru, an epochal intellectual, or a gay Hollywood celebrity. Instead, during one long night of the soul, I crashed, ending up in jail and then three days in a psychiatric facility. Since then, I've been trying to answer for myself the question of "to be" or "to do"
Going through something like that has been a mixed blessing. For some reason it burned out of my core a lot of longstanding issues (such as jealousy) that had always fueled my depression, and it also gave me access to the knowledge that I was capable of so much more than I ever knew. But it was at great cost to both myself (I'm $60,000 in debt) and my boyfriend (who somehow managed to stay with me throughout the months of hell.)
I wrote a book about it called "Out of the Body," which I'm currently revising with the hope of getting it published. I have a day job as a writer, but writing software not bookware. There's an awful lot of things I'm interested in, but the issues I write most about on my blog are literature, cosmology, inner development, mental health and spirituality.
I grew up near Newcastle on the North-East coast of England, and went to college to study physics & astronomy in London. After that I did a masters in alternative energy at University of Pennsylvania (not Penn State!) and worked there for a few years until I got my green card, whereupon I moved to San Francisco.
After twelve years, I met my boyfriend, Ben, who lived in Los Angeles and after a year of courtship we bought a house together in the Hollywood Hills.
I have a lot of free time, and would love to meet fellow writers. I'm also interested in meeting people to practice my photography on.
I have a wonderful circle of great, fun-loving friends both here and in San Francisco. I never dreamed I'd ever have it this good!
My passion is ...
mindfulness
I know too much about ...
my own thoughts (darned introspective)
My parents always told me ...
to be polite
My childhood ambition ...
to be an astronomer or a train-driver
My favorite memory ...
Playing soccer with my family in the English Lake District
Why I write ...
To figure myself out, to reach out, to let others know we share a common humanity
What I am reading/watching/listening to ...
Just ground to a stop on "The Varieties of Religious Experience" so switched to Asimov's "Foundation" series
My first job ...
(real) was doing research in mental health policy at U Penn
My best moment ...
Whenever I'm locked in my boyfriend's embrace surrounded by friends on the dance-floor
My inspiration ...
I don't know how to answer that. I read others for pleasure (or, in the case of William James, for painfully gained ideas). When thinking about writing fiction (which I aspire to someday) I'm awed by Zadie Smith
After a couple of weeks during which I'd experienced astounding intellectual, emotional and moral growth (not knowing that in actuality I was having a vast manic episode en route to a diagnosis of bipolar disorder), I made a discovery which I thought could make me incredibly rich. As I rotated the idea in my mind, it slowly dawned on me that I'd be so rich that I could walk out the door and might never need to see my beloved house again, should I choose not to. Doing just that, in search of either intellectual excitement, or pampering, whichever I could find first, I left home leaving a tr...
More..Dartagnan
Hollywood, California US
Member since: October 2006
Articles Written: 2