Sebastian Ramshackle III was born in a desolate part of Asia Minor. Son of a wandering minstral and a princess whose sorrowing widowed father had expelled her for daring to prefer French jazz to the local folk dancing, he left home as soon as he could crawl to join a travelling preacher show.

He soon realised the error of his ways and, by the age of 14, had qualified as a chartered chiropodist, discovered two ways of defying gravity and launched the world's first pro-celebrity moonshine-distilling radio show.

Realising that he had a real talent for words, Sebastian took a doctorate (they never caught him) and settled down to a career as a wordsmith.

Helium is but the latest stage on the road that leads inevitably to his own epitaph.

My passion is ...

myself

I know too much about ...

too many things

My parents always told me ...

never to run off with a travelling preacher show

My childhood ambition ...

to play the sax like John Coltrane

My favorite memory ...

the most recent one

Why I write ...

to get replies

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

the serial numbers on the cash in my wallet

My first job ...

polishing the preacher's vestments before the show began

My best moment ...

writing a word that spoke back to me

My inspiration ...

realising that a life on the flying trapeze was beyond me

Politics, News & Issues > Environmental Awareness Easy ways your family can "go green"

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Green living is not all hair shirts and self-denial! It should be fun and give you a more relaxed and comfortable life. More than a fashion, it involves changes in behavior, not just in thinking.

So, how can you live green'? Here are seven pointers.

First, review what you need to live comfortably, rather than excessively. Get away from the idea that need' is the same as want'. If you only use something twice a year, you probably don't need it. Give it away or sell it on ebay. You'll have more space and more cash.

Second, how much energy do you use? Next time you change your car, g...

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