Articles written by W Thomas Payne in Creative Writing

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What is Helium

About me - W Thomas Payne

Freelance writer, photographer, and general handyman with words, I roam the back roads of America looking for the slightly different, the bizarre, and the fun that can be found in those 'off the highway' locales.

Over the last 25 years, I have been a landlord

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Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Technology: 3 of 30
So, you're 'over the hill' (that's 40 in youthspeak), and you've bought your new computer. After 20 minutes, you located the manual, ever so conveniently packed on the end marked "THIS SIDE DOWN." Despite the manufacturer's best efforts, you have deciphered the Japanese-to-Dutch-to-English translation buried behind the Spani... More..
Creative Writing > Memoirs Memoirs: True karaoke stories: 21 of 101
Five friends wandered the entertainment district of Chicago's north side one warmer summer night, going from club to club, checking out the various musical venues. We couldn't decide between blues, rock, or alternative, when fate speared my brain on its fickle finger with the neon sign "KARAOKE." Karaoke was new at the time,... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Healthy eating choices: 4 of 13
We're coming on that time of year when people start making New Year's Resolutions, and one of the most popular is to eat healthier. When it comes to healthy eating, you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who eats healthier than I do. I mean, seriously, I won't put anything in my mouth that looks diseased! My Mom taught me that... More..
Creative Writing > Short Stories Short stories: Science fiction: 106 of 289
"Going Buggy" Another late night for the barber. The customers left hours ago, and he is sweeping and bagging the day's hair from the floor, the most tedious part of his day. The repetitive motion of the broom, back and forth, is starting to bother his lower back after all of the years he's been at it. His trash hauling bill... More..
Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Growing old: 11 of 21
Ah, the Golden Years. Who the hell thought that one up? I am seriously thinking that they need an ass-whooping or a stay at Shady Rest for being so delusional. Ah, to be youthful again, without the aches and pains that merely sitting can bring. The transient malfunctions in the heart beat that leaves you breathless and dizzy... More..
Creative Writing > Short Stories Short stories: Life lessons: 201 of 360
"Leaves of Fall" There once was a young boy. He was a good young boy, and everyone expected he would grow to be a good man some day. He was a good boy, but his family was poor. Every fall as a young boy he would take his father's rake, and pile the maple leaves in his family's yard into large piles for composting into the fa... More..