Articles written by Pam From Hell

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About me - Pam From Hell

For me, humor is essential, it is the mainstay of my sanity, and the focus of my survival. It is therefore the obvious reason that my articles are humorous.

One of the perks of exisitng within "curmudgeon" status, is that whatever we write, whether people

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Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Cars: 5 of 61

Beaters and Rentals (many times one and the same) Whenever possible, drive a beater because: - You are completely anonymous, knowing that others will never attempt to make eye contact with you. - You could give a rats ass if anyone throws their door open, making a huge gash in your passenger door. - You laugh as you see a dr...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Southern English: 2 of 15

I've learned a bit about Southern English from living in various suburbs of Atlanta for more than 20 years. Originally from Michigan, that makes me officially a "Damn Yankee" (definition: a Yankee who STAYED). One of the first things I had to learn was to stop speaking so fast because people kept saying, "Slow down girl, my ...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Helium.com: 5 of 25

Everyone wants stars, stars, and more stars. No planets, or moons, just stars. Blue stars and yellow stars are the pinnacle of success on Helium.com. Multitudes of writers are writing in order to get stars. Lots of stars. How these stars are obtained is still a question for me, since I've seen many discrepancies and irregula...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Growing up: 5 of 25

I killed Peter Pan. At least that's what I've been told. It seems that since living with me under the same roof for 11 years, Peter has been the subject of unjust responsibility. He is no longer seen flying around the room, singing: "I gotta crow Er! Er! Er! Er!" He no longer talks to Tinkerbell or obsesses about Captain Hoo...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: In other words: 2 of 10

How many times have I been in the awkward position of having to clarify what I've just said? Far too many for my liking. If I have to say the words "In other words" I'm already losing the battle. It means the other person either doesn't have the capacity to understand, of they just don't want to. The realization that the per...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Cell phones: 13 of 54

I belong to a group of rare (and occasionally chastised) individuals who does NOT need their cell phone to do everything but fix dinner. I only need the phone to function as a phone. NOT as a camera, NOT as a computer, NOT as a video player, NOT as an MP3 player, NOT as an instant messenger, NOT as a navigator, NOT as an ent...
Relationships & Family > Coping with Divorce When a divorce turns into hardball: 1 of 4

When divorce turns into hardball - throw a fastball! Do your research and get yourself the absolute best lawyer you can find. The kind of lawyer that is known for chewing up cheaters, liars, abusers, losers, and spitting them back out in pieces all over the courtroom. The kind who knows how the judge will react in any given ...
Relationships & Family > Marriage Psychology Marriage trends: Why couples aren't "tying the knot": 4 of 15

In order to answer this question, we must look briefly at our history. Our views of marriage can only be a reflection of previous generations and influences. Every generation aspires to set an example for the next, setting new standards and hopefully allowing for growth and endurance. Our grandparent's generation saw marriag...
Creative Writing > Humor Cowboy humor: True stories about cattle: 8 of 29

Romping Cows Scenic mountain views in Virginia can take your breath away. Endless fields of corn, bales of hay, silos, barns, tractors and farm equipment dot the landscape. Summery haze periodically blots out the mountain tops and lazily curls around trees and farm houses. As we drove down winding country roads I couldn...
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: First dates: 9 of 29

First dates can be absolutely fine, in a perfect world, which we don’t live in. Good or even great first dates are easily forgotten, and don’t interest many people. Who wants to hear how wonderful things were? It’s the horrendous, jaw-dropping funny first dates that people want to hear about. I’ve had...