: About Me

I am odd, and usually immersed in my own little world. If you'd like to get my attention, a couple of sharp raps on my forehead have been known to do the trick.

I'm a voracious reader and an even more voracious writer. I don't care how awful it is; I just write it and hope to God I believe in it enough to make it work. One of these days, when pigs fly and Microsoft Works, I hope to have someone out there enjoy a short story of mine enough to publish it. It's not the multi-billion dollar life I thought I'd have when I was ten, but nowadays-several grueling years into the submission/rejection cycle-it's about the best I can hope for.

And, um, I guess that's it off the top of my head.

Gee, there's still a lot of space. So...how are YOU, dear reader? Did you get all the kids on their buses okay? Did you buy more milk? Did you break up with that moron Derek who thinks you're a piece of meat and not a person? Did you see the way that guy looked at you before, while you were on the bus? Downright creepy, that.

Well, bon voyage. I'm back to my home planet.

My passion is ...

Creativity

I know too much about ...

a whole lot of eclectic things.

My parents always told me ...

"Wipe your nose with a TISSUE, godammit!"

My childhood ambition ...

was to be an astronaut with a laser gun.

My favorite memory ...

is running through the sprinklers in the public park at about age four.

Why I write ...

It's my passion. Also, rumor has it you can get published.

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

Tubthumping

My first job ...

Box-stacker in a china shop.

My best moment ...

Has yet to come. I'll know it when I see it.

My inspiration ...

The world around me and my off-kilter imagination.

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Life

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Ponder, my friends, the Unbearable Lightness of Breathing and the pain you know when it is gone. When the Common Cold comes. You know he's on his way before he gets there, like that rippling water in Jurassic Park. First there's the teary eyes, which somehow catches everyone-possibly even some Eastern masters of meditation-by complete surprise. The very next step is denial, i.e. something in the air must be bothering you; a dust particle must have flown into your eye; the little guys in your head who produce eye lubricant must've stormed out of work and kicked the buckets over in protest-y...

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