: About Me

I'm in my late thirties and still feel as insecure as a child. I've always felt like I was on the outside looking in and could be in a room of people and feel utterly alone. As a child I talked with my imaginary friends and created fictional lives for each of them that reflected the dreams inside of me. Those dreams were never any bigger than the child I was. The most beautiful part of that dark place in my life was that it was in my lonely brokenness that I encoutered God. It was there that He found me and I became His servant. It was in the insecurities and anxieties that He found me once again and adopted me, changing my status from a servant to His daughter. The most beautiful part of me is my relationship with Him, through Jesus Christ. I don't talk with myself or imaginary people anymore. I talk with a living, loving Savior who determined that I was worth fighting for. I write because I breath and it is the most honest expression of who I am, usually only revealed in the privacy of the time I spend before the throne of God. I'm here at helium because I write so much that it's nice to know that somewhere there is someone who may be interested in my transparency and honesty, someone who may feel the way I do and not be made uncomfortable with my brokenness, someone who will find hope in to continue this journey of life. I am currently a graduate student and maintain a blog on myspace at http://blog.myspace.com/tender_mercies4me.

My passion is ...

studying and teaching

I know too much about ...

other people. My listening skills need work...

My parents always told me ...

I can do anything

My childhood ambition ...

was to be single, live in a condo, and be an airline stewardess or secretary.

My favorite memory ...

I was scared to go downstairs at night by myself. Every night, without fail, I wanted a drink. I would perch on the landing and say to myself over and over, "what time I am afraid I will trust in Thee..." Then I'd dash into the darkness and turn on the light as quickly as possible. I learned, regardless of what frightens me, I can do it.

Why I write ...

Writing, to me, is like breathing. When I don't write I feel as if I'm holding my breath.

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

I'm just reading this survey.

My first job ...

Dairy Queen

My best moment ...

on my face before God.

My inspiration ...

The Bible...

Creative Writing > Songs Songs: Autumn

19 of 25

Falling into yesterday I dance with the wind spun in arms of bitter longing and the deadly bite of winter nipping at my memories Falling into yesterday I lay down to sleep in the muddy leaves of our dreams resting on the dead soil that buried you Falling into yesterday I slumber in your grave cloaked in harvest of our longings lingering in the shadows of the dead that I must too become CHORUS: I miss you I need you I cannot find you among the falling leaves of autumn's grave Yesterday calls out of the dead that survive my memory of you

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