: About Me

Just another Cape Cod soccer mom destined to march on a road of bones.

My passion is ...

good for a kid about every 3 years or so

I know too much about ...

You can never know too much.

My parents always told me ...

Never play cards with someone named after a city.

My childhood ambition ...

The only thing that has interested me- ever- is writing articles for Helium

My favorite memory ...

I had 4 successive orgasms once.

Why I write ...

I need a paying job that I can get stoned during.

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

listening to Killing Joke while reading all my good friends here at the H

My first job ...

I killed a union dissident in 1997 for $500

My best moment ...

see "favorite memory" above

My inspiration ...

I do all this to impress Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Education > Homework & Testing How to help a child who doesn't like his teacher

15 of 17

"Sit down... shut up... I gotta talk at ya for a few, kid." "Do you think Daddy likes dragging his ass down to the job site every day to build houses while some foreman screams at him for 8 hours? He doesn't." "But we all gotta do things in this world that aren't enjoyable, and are often degrading. It'd be nice if that stopped with your generation, but that most likely isn't going to happen." "Everything has value, and value is generally ascribed in monetary terms. Your father tolerates labor because it pays him the money he needs to take care of us. I'm not really that good in bed... he's...

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• Helium Charter Member