Articles written by Marie Tomas - Page 4

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About me - Marie Tomas

I am a humorist and columnist. My articles, under the bi-line Sunnyside Up and Down and Of That & This appeared in Courier Life, Brooklyn Graphic and Home Reporter I also wrote irreverently and irregularly for United Feature Syndicate where my humorous articles

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Relationships & Family > Successful Dating How to find true love: 32 of 41
"There's nothing out there!" is the common cry of single women today. Of course there's something out there. The only ones not out there are the one's on life support or in prison and who wants them? In actuality, there are about 500,000 more females than males as well as male homosexuals equaling around 350,000, which sound... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: New Year's resolutions: 23 of 29
Easy ResolutionsThe latest statistics are in: 30% of all resolutions are broken within the first week. The rest of the lot, fold like cheap cameras in less than a month. Not very encouraging. Problem is, we don't really intend keeping them. We only say we are, to impress impressionable people. Like the preposterous notion tha... More..
Pets & Animals > Dog Training Training your dog yourself: 33 of 39
Whenever I see a TV commercial with a woman walking her dog along a beach or strolling through a park, it appears so tranquil. So fun. Don't believe it. Walking ones dog is more like tap dancing, with cleated shoes, across an active land mine.The reason for walking your dog is twofold. 1. To give him adequate exercise and al... More..
Pets & Animals > Dogs (Other) Things to consider when choosing a dog: 60 of 70
There are a variety of ways to find the perfect dog.You can buy one at the pet shop (which is not the best way as it promotes over-breeding and illness) or from a breeder, thus guaranteeing a particular breed. Or you can reach deep down in your heart and adopt one. Petefinder.com is a great way to find one in your area. And i... More..
Health & Fitness > Sleep Disorders Insomnia stories: 7 of 8
I'm a wee hour worrier. Especially since my kids left the nest. Every night I have this 2:05 ritual. Automatically, I bolt out of my sleep, look at the clock. It glows 2:05. Not 2:04 or 2:06. Two-O five! Don't ask me how I do it, I haven't the foggiest. Anyway, waking up during the wee hours is the worse time to think. There... More..
Parenting & Pregnancy > Parenting Tips Empty nest syndrome reflections: 15 of 17
Shortly after my daughter, Jennifer, moved into her new studio apartment, she realized she needed everything. Basic things like dishes, utensils. Pots and pans. a vacuum cleaner. Table and chairs. A hairdryer. All the things you normally take for granted. Unlike her sister, who had numerous shower gifts, Jennifer only had th... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Growing old: 116 of 130
Growing old sneaks up on you. One minute you're young and vibrant. The next, reading ARP.The unfortunate process happens minute by minute.The only reminder being a photo album full of the younger you morphing into the older you.The following is my interpretation of how you know if you're aging.You know you're getting older wh... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Dog behavior: 57 of 62
THE SCHIZO SH-TSUMy daughter, Amy, has a dog, which has long forgotten what the meaning of "Man's Best Friend" is. She came to Amy in a Christmas stocking via her ex. He was big on instant gratification without ever a thought of tomorrow. Her ex. Not the dog. He didn't realize that once you assume the responsibility of a dog,... More..
Relationships & Family > Humor & Laughter The importance of humor in relationships: 45 of 48
No matter how far your kids may go, no matter what dreams they pursue, there is an invisible umbilical cord, which keeps you permanently fused. It's called a cell phone... If you think after your child leaves the nest, you're going to have more time for yourself, think again. You'll probably spend more time than ever talki... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Food: 131 of 139
SUPERMARKET HI JINKSI'm always amazed at the variety of shoppers who frequent the supermarket. First off, are the Touchy Feely Shoppers found hanging around vegetable bins, fondling potatoes, caressing cucumbers and tickling bananas. Based on my observation, I have learned a sure way to test the quality of a tomato: Look for ... More..