Articles written by Marie Tomas - Page 3

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About me - Marie Tomas

I am a humorist and columnist. My articles, under the bi-line Sunnyside Up and Down and Of That & This appeared in Courier Life, Brooklyn Graphic and Home Reporter I also wrote irreverently and irregularly for United Feature Syndicate where my humorous articles

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Relationships & Family > Online Dating Looking for love: Writing an intriguing singles ad to entice interest: 3 of 5
Many women today, who are totally fed up with clubs and bars, are now shopping via magazines and newspapers. There are pros and cons to this approach: PROS: If you've written a good ad, you'll have a numerous assortment of men to chose from. Advertising enables you to request a specific type man: tall, short, black, white, t... More..
Religion & Spirituality > Ghosts & Paranormal Phenomena Witnessing the paranormal: 24 of 39
And the Light Shineth in Darkness and the Darkness Comprehended it not...I:S October 17, 1991 I just got home from the funeral. It poured incessantly. As if all the saints and angels were crying for Mom. I can't remember who was there. The day is a hellish blur. There's a hollow sting in my heart and I don't know where to ru... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Visitors: 5 of 8
THE SANTA CLAUS CAPER Just imagine for one moment if Santa did indeed exist, how one adult might explain him to another adult, who has never heard the name before: "Zelda, listen to me. There's a maniac loose in our apartment. He's about five feet two inches tall, weights about 250 pounds and has a long white beard. (pause) ... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Coping with the holidays: 17 of 26
Can't believe the holidays are over. After all the planning. All the cooking. All the shopping. Gone in a heartbeat. Just like that. The only reason I know it actually happened, is the remaining pile of pine needles, a stack of unpaid Visa charges. And tight jeans. During the past two weeks, I must've eaten 32 pounds of asso... More..
Society & Lifestyle > Asian Culture The art of Feng Shui: 2 of 3
I've recently been introduced to Feng Shui, pronounced (fung shway). An ancient Chinese art of achieving perfect harmony and balance in your home, by placing furnishings and whatever else is hanging around, lamps, tables, dogs, husbands, in a certain chi friendly mode. Chi (pronounced chee; so why don't they spell it that wa... More..
Travel > Travel Planning & Advice Which is harder: Getting ready for a vacation or returning home afterwards?: 34 of 50
A WEEKEND VACATION IS AN OXYMORON Why is it you always seem to need a vacation when you come back from one? Particularly a weekend vacation. Trying to cram everything possible into a three-day holiday is roughly comparable to stuffing a 400 pound woman into a size 4 dress. It can't be done. First off there are numerous prepa... More..
Pets & Animals > Animal Rights & Issues Do animals have rights?: 44 of 64
I just heard some alarming news about rabies vaccinations, which can literally kill your cat or dog. It all began when I called my vet for my yellow lab's booster rabies shot and he informed me that it was not available yet as the "Last Batch" caused sarcomas in some animals and he was waiting for the "New Batch" to come in.... More..
Food & Drink > Dining Etiquette The art of tipping: 7 of 10
I'm often confused about tipping. When to? How much? For instance, your gardener nurses a sick Mum back to health. Your dog groomer gives your pooch a lemon scented cream rinse. Your Chinese takeout throws in a complimentary egg roll and extra hot mustard. Do you tip them for services above and beyond the call of duty? Or do... More..
Politics, News & Issues > Sports Archives 2007-08 Fantasy football draft rankings: Running backs: 11 of 15
I'm a football widow. And lately I've been plagued by a most peculiar recurring dream. It goes like this: I'm wearing an alabaster white #12 sweatshirt and begin dashing across a spacious green field, where I'm invariably tackled by my frisky husband who keeps bellowing at the top of his lungs, "GOTCHA!" No doubt Freud would... More..
Entertainment > Television (Other) How can people spend so much time watching tv: 25 of 33
RERUNS ANYONE? I have an acute case of remote-itis. No relation to Arthritis, Meningitis or Bursitis. The symptoms: A tingling in the fingers, accompanied by a compulsion to continually change channels. The cause: An overabundance of reruns. Originally the remote had two basic functions. Namely, bypassing commercials. And tu... More..