Articles written by Marie Tomas - Page 2

What is Helium

About me - Marie Tomas

I am a humorist and columnist. My articles, under the bi-line Sunnyside Up and Down and Of That & This appeared in Courier Life, Brooklyn Graphic and Home Reporter I also wrote irreverently and irregularly for United Feature Syndicate where my humorous articles

+ more bio information

RSS Feed

Relationships & Family > Dating Psychology Age gap relationships: What to expect when you're involved with a different generation: 18 of 46
"WHAT A NICE BIG CLOSET!" I exclaimed as I walked into my younger daughter's studio apartment. She had just moved in to this teeny one room apartment and was most anxious for my response. "It's not a closet, Mom," she sighed. "It's my apartment." So this is what they call space, I thought. A mouse would feel claustrophobic in... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Fantasy: 32 of 79
It all began eons ago, when the god, Cupid, decided to market h is brand new product, "Love" and marched his little naked butt into Horace Greedy. a well-known entrepreneur's, office."What can I do for you?" asked Mr. Greedy."I'm here to sell my product, "Love," he smiled."Love? Never heard of it.""It's brand new. But I'm sur... More..
Religion & Spirituality > Ghosts & Paranormal Phenomena Experiences with ghosts: 52 of 122
Faith is very fragile. Tragedies in life can either strengthen or weaken it. The death of a loved one often leaves us with little reason to believe. Sometimes it's sudden. Knocking the wind out from under us. Other times, it's agonizingly slow. We pray and pray for their recovery and nothing happens. Leaving us with the seemi... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Television news: 3 of 6
PANDA PORNOS:I just heard some alarming news on TV: There are only 2000 pandas left in the world and it's believed that it's largely due to their lazy libidos. Seems that the panda is pathetically undersexed and only in the mood three or four days a year. And even then, regards the entire affair with as much enthusiasm as a f... More..
Entertainment > TV Genres & Trends Controversial TV commercials: 2 of 4
Has anyone noticed how many TV commercials there are for prescription drugs? Pills for everything: Sleeping, walking, dieting, snoring, depression, constipation, sex. Oftentimes, however, the side effects are far more lethal than the disease or condition itself. Take for instance the anti-depression medication commercials, in... More..
Celebrations & Holidays > Gifts for Men Gift ideas for men aged 50-65: 1 of 1
WHAT THE MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING WANTSYou're married twenty-five years. Which amounts to 87 shirts. Eighteen ties. Fifteen bottles of cologne. Sixty-seven pairs of socks and forty-two boxer shorts.Before each and every gift-giving occasion, my husband admonishes, "Don't get me anything." That's a big help. Or, after I pressure... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Weird friends: 19 of 35
"Why don't you go to a painless dentist?" advised a neighbor of mine, as she handed me a small antiseptic white card reeking of dentist office smell."Are you absolutely certain he's painless?" I asked suspiciously."He didn't hurt me one bit," she said.I had my reasons for doubting her. The last time I went to the dentist, the... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Pets: 75 of 138
THE WEE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNINGRule of thumb: Never excite a dog who has to peeHaving a puppy is wonderful. Lots of fun. Never a dull moment, They're absolutely adorable. But before you opt for a young whippersnapper, you might want to take certain things into consideration, such as the inordinate amount of times a puppy has... More..
Style & Beauty > Fashion Trends & Styles Keeping up with fashion: 6 of 11
I recently made the huge mistake of attempting to clean out my closet.It was like entering a lost continent. Clothes and shoes attacking me from every direction. I only have two feet. Why then do I have twenty-seven pairs of shoes? I'll tell you why. It's the fashion designers fault. Unlike a guy who wears virtually the same ... More..
Society & Lifestyle > Society & Lifestyle (Other) Investigating the meaning of a mid-life crisis: 13 of 22
ARE YOU AN OLD CROW OR A YOUNG WHIPPERSNAPPER? The following quiz will enable you to see how many worlds apart you and your fledglings are: You consider one of the following celebrities extremely sexy: a. Brad Pitt b. Robert Redford c. Dean Martin To unwind, you: a. Vigorously work out b. Have a glass of wine c. Pass out in ... More..