Articles written by Marie Tomas

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About me - Marie Tomas

I am a humorist and columnist. My articles, under the bi-line Sunnyside Up and Down and Of That & This appeared in Courier Life, Brooklyn Graphic and Home Reporter I also wrote irreverently and irregularly for United Feature Syndicate where my humorous articles

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Creative Writing > Satire Satire: Santa Claus: 2 of 27
SKINNY CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWNJust heard another absurdity. Santa Claus may be going on a low-carb diet. That's right. You heard me correctly. He's been getting increased pressure from a group of politically correct loonies, who assert that Santa is simply too fat to act as a role model for their impressionable kids. And that... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: How I know it's Christmas: 2 of 24
Whenever the trimming of the tree ritual is portrayed on a TV movie or commercial, we usually observe a relaxed beauty with every hair in place and ten perfect nails, a well scrubbed impeccably mannered little boy who smiles a lot and a gorgeous man with carefully selected creases around his eyes. These flawless mannequins pr... More..
Relationships & Family > Coping with Divorce How to get over a lousy divorce: 1 of 10
Surviving your kid's divorce is no joke. The divorce rate is now a staggering one in two. And nearly 4 in 10 get divorced before their fourth anniversary. Not very encouraging. Which is probably why young people view the state of matrimony as risky as a mosquito views clinging to the antenna of a car doing 80 miles per hour.... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Life: 60 of 343
THE COMMON COLDI am sitting at the computer, with bright red nostrils, watery slits for eyes and Vicks Vapor rub smeared all over my congested chest. Not a pretty sight. A huge box of super strong tissues beside me. Insofar, I have sneezed sixty-two times today. I think I broke a record. Or a capillary. I can't believe there'... More..
Politics, News & Issues > US Law & Justice (Other) Funny old laws that are still on the books: 1 of 5
Did you know that it is illegal to let your dog sleep in your bathtub in Brooklyn? Or name your child Monica in Equatorial Guinea. Or slam your car door shut in Switzerland.Or what about it being illegal to marry your wife's grandmother in Kentucky?Now we have added more loony laws in the U.S. Such as the dog barking ordinanc... More..
Relationships & Family > Successful Dating Dating: The proper approach: 2 of 9
There are certain do's and don't to observe on your first date. Let's begin withsome don'ts: Don't overdress: If it's a movie date, wear something casual and feminine. Don't be too glitzy. It'll make him feel under dressed and uncomfortable.- Don't under-dress: Frayed jeans with holes at the knees are good for the farm, but n... More..
Relationships & Family > Male / Female Communication Styles Differences between men and women explored: 10 of 38
Whenever my husband and I sit down to watch TV, we're always at odds. We have completely different interpretations of entertainment. Such as the other night. He wanted to watch "Silence of the Lamb." I wanted to watch "My Best Friend's Wedding." A happy little no-brainer."I'll be asleep in five minutes," carped my husband. (H... More..
Religion & Spirituality > Ghosts & Paranormal Phenomena The case against believing in paranormal activity: 2 of 7
Why are skeptics so fast to pooh pooh the paranormal? They readily accept the fact that we're walking around on a huge bluish ball suspended strategically in space, twirling around so fast that by all logical reasoning, everything and anything should fly off. And yet they stubbornly and flatly refuse to believe that the soul ... More..
Relationships & Family > Couple Communication On saying ... 'I love you': 17 of 52
Defining True Love: Everyone has his or her own interpretation of True Love. Those, who are new at it, view it as an exciting roller-coaster ride. A tingle in your belly that reduces you to a simpering, whimpering fool. A feeling of wanting to spend the rest of their life locked in a closet together. Non-stop sex!Actually, Tr... More..
Food & Drink > Cooking (Other) Humor: Cooking for children: 8 of 21
ENOUGH FOR AN ARMYI was cooking like mad one night when my husband came home and looked around. "Who's coming for supper?" he asked."No one," I shrugged."You set the table for six and who's all that food for?" he asked as he lifted the pot covers and peeked in."In case the kids drop in.""In case the kids drop in? One's in Flo... More..