: About Me

My passion is ...

Love and hatred. Often for the same people at the same time.

I know too much about ...

How to really really annoy people and scrabble my way under their skin.

My parents always told me ...

"Don't do that again."

My childhood ambition ...

To be taller. Actually, that's still my ambition.

My favorite memory ...

Has yet to arrive, but I suspect it'll involve a festival, a tent, some good mates and a headache.

Why I write ...

To let it out of my head, so my brain doesn't explode like a giant confetti firework.

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

I'm listening to The Eagles- Hotel California, because it's just amazing. Seriously, find it and listen. I'm normally reading at least 3 books at a time, but at the moment I'm stuck in a retard-rut and I've lost the ability to read.

My first job ...

Babysitting I suppose... and it's still my job.

My best moment ...

During the Duke of Edinburgh's Award: "Who put the *ing countryside here!?"

My inspiration ...

Love, Hate, Fire, Lust, A slice of toast and a cup of tea at 3 in the morning whilst scarily drunk, Cleaning the bathroom, Warm rain and when cats lick their feet.

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: The day I saw the light

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I am the bat from Aesop's fables. Sometimes I'm an apostate, and sometimes I've "always been agnostic" but really I'm just a faith-pirate. Although the faithful may not know it, the non-believers will momentarily believe if they really really need to. When an atheist loses their keys they pray in their heads "Please God, if you're actually there, please help me to find my keys and if you do it will prove your existence to me and I will believe forever more". When said atheist sees their keys in the door three minutes later they say to themselves "Ahhh! That's where I left them. Why did I t...

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