Articles written by Judith W. Monroe

What is Helium

About me - Judith W. Monroe

Hi fellow writers.

For the record: I love to write humorous essays. Probably it is my most rewarding approach to topics that strike me as proposterous, silly, or even annoying. There is too much tension in the world, so a little laughter (I laugh while I'm

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Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Prejudice: 2 of 29
An American Girlhood1937 In September, Naomi and I, first graders arm in arm,use the long winding sidewalk from school as a game board. Today, jump rope; tomorrow, hop scotch, marbles, jacks. I've never been to Naomi's house. She's never been to mine.Naomi is my first best friend. I admire her wispy corn-rows,her cocoa-colore... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Humorous: 71 of 478
"Billy Be Damned"And who was Billy?And why should he be damned?Perhaps a character in some folk tale,big and clumsy with his hands,wouldn't do a day's work;truant from his school, andlater on the job, carelesswith his tools, loose-tonguedand worthless when it cameto following rules.Poor Billy, not goodlike Billy Budd, not a v... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Feminine wisdom: 3 of 16
Three Old FriendsThe three of us weavecomfortably from counter to range to sink.I stir the stew, you scrape carrots.she chops chives while I wash dishes.You set the table. She stirs awhile.In this easy procession of sharing,we prepare our evening meal.Sipping blueberry wine, tasting cheese,our conversation nourishes us;our li... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: For my grandmother: 12 of 60
HOME MOVIESHer small black shoes moved downfrom the upper corner of the screen,the hem of her flowered dressbillowing into view. She's the imperiousstar of quick change, the bawdy bride risenout of eighty years, re-spliced randomly,an impervious, convincing, crazy mix:hill-country and lady, my grandmother,alive upon the wall.... More..
Religion & Spirituality > Spiritual Life The game of life: how to play the game and survive: 2 of 7
Possession or What? Some people believe that ownership and the desire for material objects explains the ills of the world. A territorial imperative creates all kinds of major problems from grand theft to world wars, not to speak of all the petty bickering that goes on over minor possessions in, say, one American family. We s... More..
Personal Finance > Health Insurance Finding the best health insurance: 2 of 7
Who Will Pay? I am on the phone, a ragged stack of medical bills before me. As usual, I am on hold. In February I had a severe bout of diverticulitis. It is October now. I am feeling fine. No, I take that back, my colon may be fine; but my mind is definitely hurting. The very thing that was supposed to assist me in getting... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Snakes: 18 of 60
All summer a striped snake cruisesin our crab grass, appearing mere inches from my feet,then vanishing in the crevices of our old granite wall. Only a garden variety, I say, each time,to quell a jagged fibrillation,and a sudden rise in pulse. Tonight in pour down rain, he waits ahead of me, beside the apple tree.I slosh aroun... More..
Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Signs that you are obsessed: 5 of 16
Lately I have been receiving a daily batch of catalogs that run the gamut from tasteless tsatskies to the most expensive fashions. What kind of marketing minds have set me up for this barrage? Perhaps they are gambling that I, like some other misguided shoppers out there, will succumb to their ads. Please.Early last year I ma... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Mass media: 3 of 9
Shopper's Lament At the checkout counter someone always asks her, "Is this all for now?" As if she could never know what it is she is there for. On TV: She watches some shmuck try hard for the million, "Is that your final answer?" Pushing again. It's all the time America's hucksters trained to snag and subvert, looking t... More..
Creative Writing > Poetry Poetry: Humorous writing advice: 9 of 24
Seasonal Affective DisorderSo depressing. This flipping througha writers's magazine. Advice theregets intermingled with Truman Capotelook-a-like celebs followed by sultry biosof poetry's enfante terribles,or interviews with their distant cousins;break through babes-in- the-woods.All willing to describe success.Oh god, these r... More..