: About Me

6'3" tall caucasion male on the lower side of my 30's. Bald by choice beautiful by design. Sarcastic to a fault. Shoe size is too big to find anything worth wearing that doesn't make me feel bad for some poor cow and his family that had to sacrifice their lives for my pair of loafers.

If I could have lunch with anyone famous dead or alive...I'd choose my dad. He's not famous to anyone outside of me and my sister but I've missed him greatly and would do just about anything to spend just one more hour with him.

You won't find me cheerleading the Christian cause. I'm not for the government telling us who we can or can not legally marry. Keep the 10 Commandments in church, not on our government buildings. Then again, keep me out of those atheistic views on life. I'm not out to make a story out of the pledge of alligiance just to make a story. I'm not looking to disprove everything. Who's right or who is wrong usually canvasses both sides of any fence. It is typically a little from the left and a little from the right and when they meet in the middle, you'll get your answer. I love going after those who are too deep in the forest to see the trees.

I like to look at these articles from the unconvential and sometimes controversial point of view. I may be rude, insensitive, or at times vulgar, but I know what I write is all me. If we can't be honest when we write, we'd all just be really weak Stephen King knockoffs.

My passion is ...

something that has no quantitative measurement nor any emperically provable data from which to base it on. We try and pinpoint a singular moment or item in our lives to velcro our passion too. Passion is a feeling. Something that makes you jump on a table in a restaurant to proclaim your love for your spouse. I won't affix my passion to some sort of childhood hobby or collectible.

I know too much about ...

comic books and movies.

My parents always told me ...

not to waste all the DNA and chromosones they sacrificed in order for me to be born.

My childhood ambition ...

was figuring out a way to be faster than a locomotive and leap tall buildings in a single bound and stopping the forces of evil, all while learning how to write in cursive during the 3rd grade.

My favorite memory ...

the ridiculous amount of pain and discomfort my wife put herself through for 9 months and labor in order for us have two of the best kids ever.

Why I write ...

It's a great exercise in expression. So many topics to choose from, so many voices to listen too. Plus, it is an enormous stroke to my ego when others are able to read the stuff I write and judge it. Who has not clapped or cheered a little bit when they see their article at number 1?

What I am reading/watching/listening to ...

I have recently begun to dust off my comic book collection and immerse myself knee deep in superhero mythology. I have been listening to lots of podcasts, my car has the i-pod adaptor so it makes it easy on the morning commute.

My first job ...

not only did I earn minimum wage but I thought it was a lot of money at the time too.

My best moment ...

is waiting to make it's entrance.

My inspiration ...

Hannah and Emma.

Creative Writing > Humor Humor: Waiting in line

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I know I'm in trouble when I'm arguing with an 80 year old woman with an '86 Lincoln over whose spot in the parking lot it is. Possession of the parking spot is a fine line. You might think because your turn signal was on and you had spotted the opening first it would naturally belong to you? Tell that to Ma Kettle who has just flipped me off and swept her boat on wheels into "my" spot. Not to worry, I'll find another spot. How many people can really be at the mall the Wednesday before Christmas Eve at 8pm? Two hours later I'm parking. My hunger pangs were only muffled by the noise of peop...

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