Articles written by John Conrad

What is Helium

About me - John Conrad

I love my family, and I love my friends. I'm not gay, I just know that life would be much more boring and plain without them. They help to make my life what it is, and came along for the ride while I figured out who I am (that's a ride I'm still on). We can

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Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: Halloween (2007): 2 of 36
As I sat in the theater watching Rob Zombie's much-anticipated remake of the cult horror classic Halloween, a phrase kept popping into my head. After viewing the film and reflecting back upon Zombie's previous two efforts it became apparent that if anyone bothered to teach this phrase to a young Rob Zombie, their efforts wer... More..
Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: Epic Movie: 1 of 12
Disclaimer: The only reason I wrote a review for such a poor film is to warn others before they unknowingly waste ten dollars of their hard earned money on this schlock. I can't remember the last time I walked out of a movie, usually even if its bad I feel compelled to stay. I paid my ten bucks, I've been here for an hour, ... More..
Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT): 2 of 13
Looking back to the graphic novels of its origin, TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) soars back to the silver screen in an action-adventure movie that is as entertaining as it is appealing to the eye. Ditching most of the corniness of the last three films and the late 80's early 90's cartoon series, writers Kevin Eastman an... More..
Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: Alpha Dog: 2 of 7
Selling and using drugs, heavy drinking, uninhibited sexual exploration, and playing gangster are all fun and games, until someone gets kidnapped and killed that is. As the film opens a group of wanna-be gangsters led by their "alpha dog" Johnny Truelove, Emile Hirsch, are enjoying the "high" life supplying drugs to teens in... More..
Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: Ghost Rider: 17 of 42
I feel the need to begin this Blog with a short vignette about how I came to hear about this film, and the inevitable hype that followed. Twas a cold, dark night a few months back, some of my crew and I went to view a film at the local cinema. Although I cannot remember what movie we saw, the events preceding the film will ne... More..
Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: Grindhouse: 13 of 32
Grindhouse is defined in the Urban Dictionary as: "A term used to describe a movie that sacrifices the traditional film-making concepts such as good acting, character development, production values, creative directing and an understandable plot outline in favor of sex, gore, nudity, violence and other shocking themes." I coul... More..
Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: The Departed: 20 of 48
Martin Scorsese may have finally directed a movie that outshines his cult classic American crime caper, Goodfellas. I know what you're thinking, "Did he just say better than Goodfellas?" But wait, at least hear me out before you have me "whacked." Scorsese's latest, The Departed, stars an onslaught of A-List actors, at the to... More..
Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: The Mist: 9 of 19
As the film's tagline reads, "Fear changes everything." And believe me, it sure does. The Mist is based on a 1985 Stephen King novella, and was adapted and directed by Frank Darabont, who also adapted and directed King's Shawshank Redemption and Green Mile for the big screen. The story begins as a father and son leave mom a... More..
Entertainment > Movie Reviews Movie reviews: Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny: 4 of 8
As sasquatch, the devil, majic mushrooms, K.G. and Jables grace the silver screen, one can only come to a singular conclusion: Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny is upon us. This film is essentially a parody of how the band Tenacious D was formed and became the greatest rock band ever. The film opens as a young J.B., Jack Black... More..
Computers & Technology > Internet Tips MySpace for morons: A beginner's guide: 2 of 4
Cyber-StonedPale, little Timmy McFay sits at his computer for hours on end, stopping only when it is necessary to eat or use the facilities. His glossy, bloodshot eyes stare off into cyberspace, reflecting the images on his monitor. As he continues to get his daily fix, he begins to drool. In the other room his parents wonder... More..