Everyone nowadays complains about how horrible the food at fast food restaurants is, or how mean or rude or stupid the employees are who work there. Maybe they should hear the kinds of things those "stupid" employees are saying about them.

Having been on both sides of the drive-thru speaker, I have noticed that most problems with order accuracy, payment accuracy, and employee friendliness are not only the fault of the employees. It seems that the customer is "expecting" to receive poor service, and the employee is "expecting" another customer who can hardly tell if they are at McDonald's or KFC. These expectations are mutually self-fulfilling.

For example, a customer expects to get his entire order wrong anyway, and so he doesn't pay attention, and orders "A Whopper Meal Super-Sized with a Frosty" (if you are paying attention, that order spanned the three biggest burger joints in 8 words). At this point, the employee has several options: first, she could ask the customer "Do you mean a Big Mac meal?" (to clarify the order), second she could assume he meant a Big Mac meal with a chocolate shake and report the total, third she could remind the customer "umm, we don't sell Whoppers or Frostys here...". The third option takes the most time, because then the customer has to repeat the whole order in McDonald's lingo. The second option takes the least time because it is fast and easy, and is what most employees will do when rushed (which they always are). However, in both the first and second cases, if the customer actually wanted a different sandwich (other than the Big Mac) our employee is now labeled as "stupid".

All this can be avoided by following a few simple rules:

1. Pay attention to where you are. Ordering a Baconator at KFC gets you nowhere.

2. Be Patient. If the employee asks you to clarify your order, she is only trying to get your food right for you the first time.

3. Be ready. If you want to pay with exact change, please have it ready before you get to the window, and that does NOT mean stop in the middle of the lane to dig in your purse for 10 minutes before driving up to the window. There is nothing more annoying than a customer digging for 10 minutes for exact change, dropping it in their lap, then handing you a 20 dollar bill.

4. Be fast. It is not so much that the employees' time is precious, it is that they are treating the time of the people behind you as precious, and yours as well.

5. Be Clean. If you are concerned about the overall cleanliness of the restaurant you eat in, don't make the employees do extra work like peeling pickles off the ceiling.

6. Be Courteous. Don't heap your troubles on the unsuspecting. If they work at a fast food joint, they probably have at least as many troubles as you.

At a good restaurant, all of the employees who are kept for more than a week or two will be able to serve you quickly, and in a friendly manner in a clean store if these simple rules of common decency are maintained.

Learn more about this author, Kevin Harmon.
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