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by Jonathan Young

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Prejudice and bullying are neurologically inevitable. According to evolutionary biologist Robin Dunbar, the human brain can only recognize a maximum of 150 people as fellow human beings. This is our tribe: our family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. Beyond this number, keeping the rules of interaction straight becomes too complex for us. We also feel an instinctive need to secure resources for our own tribe, even if this means denying access to other tribes. We therefore resort to stereotyping and other forms of propaganda to dehumanize other people in other tribes. Our brains evolved to repeat the survival-oriented adaptations of our predecessors, and this means that even in the context of the so-called global village, we retain tribal prejudice.

As social animals, we need to feel as if we serve a purpose in a specific tribe. To some extent we all want to be labeled, assuming the label assigns us a specific role. This is part of why bullying and prejudice provoke so much anxiety. If an insult is repeated often enough, the insulted person begins to wonder if there isn't some element of truth in it. If, for example, I had a boss who repeatedly insinuated that I wasn't making the same contribution to the company as my co-workers (by labeling me Mr. Slacker or Sir Slacks-a-Lot, or something like that), a primitive part of my brain would signal that I was in danger, even if the situation was only as dangerous as possibly losing a job. The reason for the danger-signal would be an ancient memory of a tribal organization that killed off or abandoned weak or otherwise useless members: to this primitive part of the human brain, belonging to a tribe and making an important contribution is a matter of life and death. Without the support of our tribe, we're left defenseless, out in the open amongst predators and fierce competition for vital resources.

So what's the solution to all this instinctive conflict and anxiety? There is no overriding solution to human nature, but certain unpleasant situations can be remedied or avoided altogether. If you find yourself being bullied by someone, the first thing you should do is assess whether or not this person is insane. Insane people thrive on conflict, and there's nothing to be gained by standing up to them. (I'm using insane in the colloquial sense, to describe people with poor social skills, not to signify people with real mental illness.) If the bully is not insane, stand up to them. Scare them senseless, if at all possible. Give them an icy stare and raise your voice, if necessary. I've done this with a few co-workers over the years, and it works extremely well. If the person is insane, they will welcome your hostility and become even more obnoxious. Avoid these people entirely. If you're a manager, fire them. If you're a teacher, have them transferred to another class. If you're a student, talk to your teacher/professor or principal about them. If you're a co-worker, talk to your manager, and not just once. If your bully co-worker isn't fired, threaten to quit, and then find another job if necessary. Remove the bully from your life, in other words, before they start affecting your attitude.

There seems to be an egalitarian ideal in our society that everyone just needs to try and get along. I think this is not only unrealistic, but also potentially dangerous. Some personality types (and tribe types) simply don't harmonize. There's no changing human nature, so it's best to limit your tribe to 150 people (not including MySpace friends), and only try to maintain close relationships with your favorite people. It might also be good for society if we'd all try and keep our base instincts in check. This means openly acknowledging that we're all a little prejudiced, and also trying to deconstruct our surface-level reactions to people from other tribes. We can always stop and think about what makes us treat some people nicely and other people with disdain, and maybe thereby change our future behavior. But being honest with ourselves is crucial. There will never be anything like a truly egalitarian society until we can first admit that favoritism is inevitable, and then maybe try to minimize the harm we cause to other tribes.

Learn more about this author, Jonathan Young.

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