Channel Button

There are 17 articles on this title. You are reading the article ranked and rated #14 by Helium's members.

Creative Writing   >

Satire

Satire: Freedom

The Patriot Act simply does not go far enough to protect freedom in this country. There are some people who say these things violate the Constitution. To that, I say the Constitution is old. I am alive now, and I do not want to die. They did not think of that when they wrote it a long time ago.

I speak for a lot of people!

Here are some things we want done so that everyone may finally be free again:

1. Stop giving away mental health treatment! We do not need to encourage insane people by giving free treatment to them! I see no way that benefits us!

2. Build more prisons! There are too many people on the streets today! Some of them are crazy and need to go to prison!

3. Put panhandlers in prison! These people are able enough to ask for money! Put them in prison - and do not feed them!

4. Get drunks out of my neighborhood! These people cause problems! Store owners must only sell legal alcohol people as we drink!

5. Harass my neighbors for me! I am especially concerned about the ones that I begrudge for reasons other than the one I call about! The other neighbors do not bother me as much yet, so leave them alone for now!

6. Kill child molesters! Where do those people get the ideas to do that to those poor children? We need to be very cruel about it, also, to show them just how good they had it in life!

If we do not have freedom after these six steps, we will just keep moving forward from there!

That is enough for now. I need to work out our demands on illegal aliens. Who do these people think they are coming here for a better life? Do they not realize they are taking the food they pick for us right back out of our mouths?

Learn more about this author, Tom Koecke.
Contact this writer Click here to send author comments or questions.


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Satire: Freedom

  • 1 of 17

    by Raul Mitterand

    . .In other news today, President Bush signed into law today the Nafta Hafta Bill, making illegal immigrants legal c... read more

  • 2 of 17

    by creagcridhe

    Can you imagine? There was a time in America when you could let your kids play in the street. Right in the middle of... read more

  • 3 of 17

    by Aleister Pinkbelly

    Someone Should Pass Some Laws to Protect Me from My Big Fat Drunken Dumb Self Hey, there. How's it going? Not so g... read more

  • 4 of 17

    by Mike Ogden

    In an incident at an Arizona border crossing, an unidentified American male wearing baggy pants was arrested for atte... read more

  • 5 of 17

    by Ann Marie Kelly

    I used to be young, but now I'm free. Free for the first time to revel in the luxury of me. No more looking for a... read more

View All Articles on:
Satire: Freedom

Add your voice

Know something about Satire: Freedom?
We want to hear your view. Write_penWrite now!

What is Helium? | User Guide | Community | Link to Helium | Privacy | User agreement | DMCA

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA