Secrets of Motherhood for the First Time Mom

I wanted to be a Mommy so badly and until it happened, I never believed the one or two complaints of Motherhood that I heard on television. I couldn't imagine that people would actually find this complicated. I mean all you have to do is love a cute baby. How hard could that be, right? WRONG. I was unbelievably wrong. Motherhood is filled with secrets that are only whispered about on somewhat anonymous blogs and message boards on-line. And these secrets are kept hidden in the tradition of the Knights Templar- there are clues and coded messages that cannot be understood by newbies. Not that they want to. If you are like most soon-to-be-mommies, you don't go looking for these secrets. You live in complete euphoria and tell yourself that Motherhood will be perfect.

As a new-to-the-game-Mommy, let me tell you that this is so not true. Motherhood is like a really strict weight-loss program. You enter into it with the best of intentions, but sometime after day 5, you want to go back to the life you led before. And so, in the hopes of saving other unsuspecting women from the total shock of Motherhood., here are the secrets that I am uncovering as I embark on my Motherhood journey:

(1) Babies are cute most of the time, but when they are screaming at the top of their lungs because they are feeling/wanting/needing something that you have to figure out that cuteness turns to obnoxious. However, once you figure out what it is that they feel/want/need the cuteness returns.

(2) The sound of a crying baby doesn't just cause your breast to leak at the most inconvenient times, it also makes your heart shatter and you feel as if you failed as a mother. Again, the cuteness returns when you have managed to calm said baby, you will feel as if you won the lottery.

(3) After you have tried every trick in the book to soothe your baby, your husband/spouse/significant other will be able to do it just by picking him/her up. And you will feel like a complete failure. You will also count the minutes until your husband/spouse/significant other comes to relieve you.

(4) The sound of your baby's explosive gas and/or poop will make you smile and laugh. That is until that sound is followed by screams because said baby has a horrible diaper rash that you cannot cure no matter what you try. You will try every remedy in the book or suggested by your friends/family, and nothing will work. Finally you will sell your soul to the devil

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

---

Add your voice

Know something about First time motherhood?
We want to hear your view. Write now!