I have seven year old twins. A boy and a girl.

And deep down in both of them is a deep connection that I can never hope to understand, yet for some strange reason, I can't get them to stop fighting.

They argue, they scream, they beat each other over the head with twinkies.

I've found a few practical tips to help them see eye to eye.

1. Separation: give them mandatory time apart often. They spend so much time together, that they get on each other's nerves. They each have their own identity, and they need to be able to cultivate that separately.
2. Apologies: You can't mandate respect, but you can mandate respectful actions. When one of them punches the other in the eye, or some other "unforgiveable" incident, I make the offender apologize, whether they feel like it or not. I also encourage the victim to forgive, again, whether they feel like it or not. Because respect overrides emotions.
3. Teamwork: While they do get sick of being together sometimes, they also thrive in opportunities to complete a task together. We often give them tasks too large for each of them to complete on their own. We find fun ways to work together and rely on each other to make things happen.

Learn more about this author, Josh Hatcher.
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